2022-23 Lesser Footy – Oh We Back, Y’all

King Hippo - August 6, 2022August 4, 2022

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Let's face it, Clubhouse footed ball enthusiasts. Most of our dreemz is ded already, but the beauty of Week One is we don't know FOR CERTAIN or how they'll go about dying. So, we giddy-up with NBC, USA, and Peacock Premium and WE FOOKIN' RIDE again. Friday Night Footy gave us a

Monday Night is alright for B-Ball. Your Monday evening Open Thread.

yeah right - June 13, 2022June 13, 2022

banner image via Most of you good folks must dread this time of year. We're mighty damn close to having baseball being the only sport in town. Tonight is game 5 of the NBA finals and it's been a hell of a good series. Odd thing is the series has been great

Hippo’s Thursday Waking Nightmare (Part el Fin)

King Hippo - May 19, 2022May 19, 2022

Please to keep your hands inside the car at all times. You don't want to acquire the nickname "Stumpy." (this opener accompanied a winner, and I am superstitious as fuck) As during three previoUs Bitter Blue torture sessions, I will add my instant reactions as the match progresses (with time stamps)

Saturday “All Aboard the Sinking Ship” Morning Thread

King Hippo - April 23, 2022April 22, 2022

I apologize in advance for tomorrow. I will go missing all day, and there will be no Derby of Ultimate Despair live blog. Because I hate those fucking thundercunts so very much that I can't even bear to watch the mauling. Hope for Premier League survival is fading, but there's still

Half-Schedule Weekend – Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - April 16, 2022April 15, 2022

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This is the part of the Lesser schedule when the cup ties start flying fast and furious, and with MOAR at stake. You saw a truly heroic effort by rockingdog's Chelski squadron mid-week, but the Real Cuntfaces got off the mat and advanced. Kings of Shithousery Atleti (meant mostly as

A Tradition Unlike Any Other (Ugh) Now, Post-Plague and Sort of Updated! Without Commets from Years Ago!

WCS - April 7, 2022

Hello, friends. It's a tradition unlike any other. It's The Masters. I'm Jim Nantz, and it's my distinct pleasure to bring you one of the great events in all of sports. It's Augusta National Golf Club, the Mecca of professional golf. The pride, the heritage, the racial purity. Yes, The Masters embodies

2022 Post-Plague “Madness Can Go Screw” Flacco Eight Thread

King Hippo - March 26, 2022March 26, 2022

I now remember how/why/how much I hate basketball. But, I have imaginarium obligations, so the games are below. I have added a picture of Kaylyn Kyle, because (i) she is PERFECT; and (ii) all eyes are on Canadia Lesser Footy this weekend. The rest is just trash to pass the

2022 Post-Plague Madness – Octavos de Final Thread Numero Uno

King Hippo - March 24, 2022March 23, 2022

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Thanks so much to TUDN for teaching me that descriptor for the Round of Sixteen. Because it's not goddamned SWEET with Duke and especially U*NC participating. Anyway, I might have tuned out, but I can still give the imaginarium my uneducated, semi-coherent thoughts on the matchups: 4W Arkansas (+9.5) v. 1W Gonzaga (7:09,

Saturday Night and Hoopsball Grows Tiresome

King Hippo - March 19, 2022March 19, 2022

I will not invite you to touch my monkey, though. Here are your late fixtures: 12MW Richmond (+3.5) v. 4MW Providence (6:10, TNT) Friar Tuck and his merry band just can't get no RESPEK, I says. Richmond's coach looks eerily like "Buddy" in Swimming With Sharks. I love that movie, probably because I

Saturday Early Lesser Footy y Hoopsball

King Hippo - March 19, 2022March 18, 2022

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There is only one Prem fixture this morning, Arsenal/Villa (8:30, USA). The King's Afrikan Water Pistols are playfully spraying their way into next season's Shempions League, but as they say in Footy Manager speak "there can be no letup." Villa are a pesky lot, so this might be worth a

2022 Post-Plague Madness – Rounding Out Round One

King Hippo - March 18, 2022March 18, 2022

The early window, as quasi-predicted, was a wet bag of shit. DUE BETTER, night windows! 13S Chattanooga (+8) v. 4S Illinois (6:50, TNT) What's the fucking deal with all the schools that used to be "State-hyphen-City" who are now just "City?" I fear and reject ALL CHANGE. 15W Cal-State Fullerton (+18.5) v. 2W Duke

2022 Post-Plague Madness – Friday Primavera

King Hippo - March 18, 2022March 17, 2022

OK, I think that counts as madness yesterday. Goodbye, Kenfucky. 12 seeds run rampant, except for Indiana - who got curb-stomped by...St. Mary's?? UCLA used all nine of their lives. More games, more work avoidance, more entropy to come! 10S Loyola-Chi**** (Pick 'em) v. 7S Ohio State (12:15, CBS) Pretty cool respect