Your “It’s Never Gonna End, Will It?!” Sunday Evening Open Thread

For some people, the work never stops. For others, the work never stops trying to protect the brand. Late Friday, Trump sent out cease-and-desist letters to the three largest fundraising entities for the Republican Party — the RNC, NRCC and NRSC — for using his name and likeness on fundraising emails

Your “Everyone’s On Holiday” Monday Evening Open Thread

A very slow day today, as the US had President's Day & Canada has Family Day. Fortunately, America's 45th president has combined the two into one. NFL Nuggets: Both Pouncey brothers have retired from the NFL. Maurkice spent his whole career with the Steelers, and Mike played for the Dolphins &

[DFO] Hate Week & Thursday Evening Open Thread

At last, we reach the zenith of Hate. No, not my childhood. That's for my "discussion" with the therapist. (Insert Moose gif here.) Something more visceral... There we go. Much like Tom Brady, it's time for Roger Goodell's annual appearance during Hate Week. Even as the season started, he knew he was up shit creek

“Even Sherman Thinks That’s Enough” – The Falcons Off Their Bye

The problem with following Senor's post about the Jets is that he used all the good words & euphemisms for "bad". But what about other teams that suck? The Atlanta Falcons surely qualify for such words, as they were in a Super Bowl as recently as... oh fuck it, here's the

#DisBelieveland: 2020 Cleveland Browns Bye Week Update

Quick: without looking at their record, are the Cleveland Browns a good team or a bad team?   Got an answer?   You're wrong.  Whichever way you answered, you're wrong.   Cleveland is a Limited Heisenberg Uncertainty Team: at any given time, you can know where they are, but you can't know where they are going.

Your “Eve Of The Apocalypse” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets: Well, there's finally proof that COVID can cross over to the animal kingdom, as Broncos GM & noted equine hybrid John Elway has tested positive for the disease. Contact tracing appears to show the exposure came...from outside the building! Since the team facility is closed for election day,

Your “Who Really Cares At This Point?” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Tuesday football? A hobo-free Wednesday? Beerguy on a Thursday? Truly, these are the strangest of times. NFL Nuggets: The Ravens are apparently still pissed at the Bengals for going for the late field goal & robbing them of a shutout. Ravens DC Don “Wink” Martindale apparently yelled something the on-field mics

Your “Those Guys Are A Couple of Master Debaters” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: It begins: up to eight Titans players & personnel have tested positive for Corona virus. It's three new positive tests for players and five new positive tests for personnel. Outside linebackers coach and defensive playcaller Shane Bowen missed Sunday's game due to COVID protocols. They now have to

An Old Friend Comes Home

INTERIOR - SOFI STADIUM LOCKER ROOM, LOS ANGELES, CA  - SUNDAY AFTERNOON [LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN] DR. DAVID CHAO: [Visibly stumbling] HI [hic] EVERYSSBODYSSS! [The locker room is empty and offers no response] DR. DAVID CHAO: Oh, a little [hic] alonesh time for the [hic] Doctor and hsssh patient! [Pulls out flask and

Nobody’s Chargers 2020 Season Preview: No Control

INTERIOR – NONDESCRIPT DOMICILE, CARSON, CA – EVENING [A MAN sits alone on a couch in his living room, completely fixated on the TV in front of him, despite the fact that nothing particularly interesting is on it. His gaze is so intent, that he hardly blinks and certainly doesn't hear

I Can See Cleeeeeaarrrly Now, Tom Braaaaady’s Gone: 2020 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

[Author's Note: Despite the overwhelmingly positive response to last year's All Interpretive Dance team preview, I have decided not to go back to that well a second year in a row.  Try to contain your disappointment.] So here it is.  It's finally happening.  Like Christmas morning, high school graduation and losing