Assholes

A Tradition Unlike Any Other (Ugh) Now, Post-Plague and Sort of Updated! Without Commets from Years Ago!

WCS -
47

Hello, friends. It's a tradition unlike any other. It's The Masters. I'm Jim Nantz, and it's my distinct pleasure to bring you one of the great events in all of sports. It's Augusta National Golf Club, the Mecca of professional golf. The pride, the heritage, the racial purity. Yes, The Masters embodies

The Maestro Goes To A Meeting (Your Tuesday Night Open Thread)

The Maestro -
104

[EXT. A cold, barren Canadian wasteland.] [A man in a giant parka dismounts from the back of a polar bear. The bear is haggard, having trudged for days through the deep snow while carrying the man.] [The man gives the bear a gentle nuzzle on his snout]. MAN: Thanks, pal. You've earned yourself

A Modester Proposal: DFO Buys the Denver Broncos (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
85

I have been called many things: Dreamer. Madman. Mrs. Ethel Burstein. But this is not some delusion of grandeur, like that time I thought I could renew my drivers license in less than two hours. No, this dream can come true. WILL come true. DFO is going to buy the Denver Broncos. It sort

Your Green Bay Packers at the bye update.

Game Time Decision -
12

We've intrupted your regularly scheduled preview for this take down of the A A Ron interview with Pat McAfee. I'm normally a pretty easy going guy, and you do you kind of person, but this whole Rodgers thing really grinds my gears. So here's a FJM take down of the

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 GLORIOUS BUFFALO BILLS Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
64

So, apparently they played football last weekend? The Big Bye (wherein nearly 20% of the league was idle) hit especially hard this year, because it included the guaranteed AFC Champion Buffalo Bills. Did I go there? Yes I did, you craven weirdos. GUARANTEED. AFC. CHAMPIONS. That noise you hear from Orchard Park?

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 San Francisco 49ers Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
96

So I missed the traditional Bye Week Update window for the Santa Clara 49ers (2-3, third in the NFC West by virtue of not having played) largely because I didn't realize until Sunday night that they were on a bye. And that is somewhat telling about the team so far: mediocre,

They’ve Got Us Surrounded, The Poor B*stards: 2021 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
84

[Author's Note: Yes, this is the Tuesday Evening Open Thread.  Jack shit is going on tonight, and as of now the biggest NFL news is Tyrod Taylor being named the Texans starter.  Given that Jack Easterby has replaced the Texans medical staff with three faith healers and a televangelist, I

Chainmail and Chucklef**ks: 2021 San Francisco 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
12

Well that didn't take long. Last year's preview was basically one long mea culpa about how wrong I had been to predict that the 2019 49ers would go 6-10, when they actually went to the Super Bowl. The 2020 Niners promptly went...6-10. I wasn't wrong, just early. This year's team does not hold a whole

Are These the Worst Uniforms Ever? (Or, DFO Mocks the MLB All-Star Game Unis)

Senor Weaselo -
9

Yes, I'm sure that by the time this posts it'll be old news, but they dropped the uniforms for this year's All-Star Game (originally in Atlanta but moved to Denver because Georgia doesn't want to let those people vote, and by those people we mean people who normally vote Democratic