CHEATRIOTS

CrimeBeat!: Guess Who’s Rewatching Archer Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
19

Oh men. MEN! Like fetuses (feti?) experiencing the uncomprehending trauma and struggle of their own nativity, we have been pushed and squeezed and squished until we passed through the birth  canal  of the regular season and emerged, cold and slimy, into the pitiless bright light of the playoffs. And like

“HAHT OF DAHKNESS!” A Special Boots On The Ground Report From New England

Beerguyrob -
34

Going to America right after the YUGGGGGGGEST election in its history seemed, to most Canadians we know, like a suicide mission. But we needed a break, and with my wife going back east for a conference and my Collective Agreement allowing for 15 days of "Leave of Absence: Without Pay",

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro -
23

The New England Patriots head into their bye week with the best record in the NFL at 7-1. They are better than your favorite team. Their quarterback has an infinitely better life than yours. Their fans remain insufferable as hell. They once drafted a murderer. And despite the sheer annoyingness

CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
17

So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing

CrimeBeat!: The White Album Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
6

Hello and welcome back to CrimeBeat!, the internet’s only source for NFL crime-related news not beholden to donors, party politics or special interests. Brought to you by Combos™. Combos: They Might Not Give You Taint Cancer! Oh men. MEN! No CB! for the last three weeks, as I was in trial

CrimeBeat!: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!?! Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
11

Brothers and sisters and those in between, I thank you for joining the DFO congregation on this glorious day. It is a day of hope. It is a day of slacking. It is a day for reflecting upon what depths of inebriation you sank to last weekend in order to

Your “Finally! The Damn Exhibition Season Is About To Come To An End!” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut -
513

Judging by the response folks around here had of the game last night, this Week 4 slate is not football fan-friendly at all. No starters worth their salt/guaranteed contract are going to play for any length of time, if at all. I thought perhaps of running down various position battles

CramBeet?: St. Swithin’s Day Massacre Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
12

/Vault door shudders and creaks, whines and slowly withdraws, rolling to one side //A dirty, disheveled man in a torn jumpsuit peers out from the door frame, squinting against even the faint sunlight. His beard appears to be thick and bushy enough to hide Dan Snyder, but something still hints at

ALL HAIL BLEERGH: Your 2016 New England Patriots Preview

The Maestro -
74

[INT. - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS TRAINING CAMP.] [A full moon shines over the night sky at Gillette Stadium, as an eerie quiet settles over the sleepy town of Foxborough, MA.] [No wind blows, and no streetlights shine. All is pitch dark, and an image slowly fades into focus as the viewer's eyes

Your “Just Another Sign The Season Is Upon Us” Tuesday Open Thread

Beerguyrob -
272

NFL Roundup: plenty of news today Ugh. Fresh on the heels of the good news that Kenny Easley has been chosen by the Senior Committee for possible Hall of Fame consideration comes Jerry Jones & Paul Taglibue being nominated for the Hall in the "Contributor" category. The League has given