Commentist Beer Barrel: Treehouse Brewery, The Best Beer You Can’t Have

Greetings fellow drunks! Horatio Cornblower filling in for makeitsnow, who is no doubt scratching off calendar dates with increasingly shaky red x's as his self-imposed 30 day sabbatical from sweet, sweet alcohol winds down. (C'mon makeitsnow, do it for your old pals at DFO!) Today we'll be

Copa América Centenario – Group D: Argentina and the Tale of Messisyphus

For the last eight years, Lionel Messi has been in the handful of best players in the world and he will have the most accomplished club career in the history of the sport. Naturally, much of Argentina hates his guts. Argentinians were satisfied when this Pope was elected (Ché, he’s infallible already by

Champions League Final Open Thread

Before you do anything, click play on this video: And now you know what the hell they are saying when you hear that song on Fox all day today. The pre-game show starts at 11 AM Pacific with kickoff around 11:45.  As part of the fun, we get a special pre-game

Your “Oh Man – Pickin’s Is Slim” Friday Open Thread

These are dark times, my fellow Commentists. There's only one competitive sporting event this evening, in the 6th most popular sport mentioned on this site. FYI, that anecdotal list: Football Hockey European Football Australian Football Baseball Basketball Rugby Cycling Darts Auto Racing NO, YOU'RE WRONG! Anyway, Even though Sunday brings us a 500-mile

This Week In Violence! Presents SlamBall

Well, folks, after 15 weeks, it's getting almost impossible to keep finding material that meets our necessary violence and obscurity requirements to write about. So as such, I'll be wrapping up This Week In Violence! with a bang as we finally return home stateside to check out a sport that never

Request Line: Shock The Monkey

INT. RADIO BOOTH - DAY BEANSIE: EEEKK! DFO TRANSLATION ALGORITHM: Hi folks, it's me, Beansie!  I'm back from my vacation in Jamaica.  Right in time for another holiday weekend! BEANSIE: EEEK EEEK. DFO TRANSLATION ALGORITHM: Oh man, you wouldn't believe some of the shit I saw.  Of course, I was so blazed the whole time

Your “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” Thursday Open Thread

Oh yeah - it's time to dust off that dictionary and linguistics degree... ...it's Spelling Bee season again! It's been going on all day. The finals are tonight on ESPN, because TNT must be covering the final nail in the Warriors coffin. Much like the Westminster Kennel Club show does, it should

Copa America Centenario Preview – Group C – Jamaica

Aye Mon (and Monettes)! Welcome to dee 'No Problem, Mon!' Copa America Jamaica preview. As someone who does not follow Jamaican soccer but spent a week at one of their all-inclusive resorts a couple years back (and visited the Appleton Estate distillery), I feel quite confident in my abilities to forecast the The

Your “Super Bowl LV Should’ve Been in Vegas” Wednesday Open Thread

Landing like a wet turd yesterday was the announcement that Atlanta (2019), Miami (2020) and LA (2021) would host Super Bowls LIII, LIV & LV respectively. Lord knows each town has the available hookers & drug supply to handle the job. I'm sure the new Atlanta SphincterBowl and LA's KroenkeWorld

Les Jaguras

INT. EVERBANK FIELD LOCKER ROOM - DAY A circle of young, strong, healthy, half-dressed men surround a well-built bald man twenty years their senior. They are tossing a pair of turf shoes amongst each other, laughing at the older man's futile attempts to get them back. ALL: [taunting] Keep away! 8945