Author: Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Your “OOOOOHHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Tuesday Night Open Thread

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WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?! FERMENTEDBEVERAGEHUMANMALEROBERT HAS AWAKENED BOLTMAN FROM HIS DEEP, DARK SLUMBER WITHIN THE BOWELS OF SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION QUALCOMM JACK MURPHY STADIUM, DEMANDING HIS DECREE ON THE DAILY HAPPENINGS OF THE MORTAL WORLD OF THE ACCURSED NFL! BOLTMAN WILL ASSURE YOU ALL THAT FERMENTEDBEVERAGEHUMANMALEROBERT'S MESSENGER MET A SLOW AND

Commentist Beer Barrel: Shred the Red

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Good afternoon fellow Beer Barrelites. Once more, Low Commander is here to ramble on about some beer he tried this past week, allowing make it snow to full dedicate himself to his fantastic Oscar's previews. "But if the Oscar's were last night," you might ask, "why are you filling in

Commentist Beer Barrel: Really Deep

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Greetings Commentists, lurkers, drunkards and all general riff-raff, to another edition of the Beer Barrel. Low Commander here, filling it for make it snow as he prepares for the avalanche of Oscars previews. which turned out to be perfect timing as I found something that I really wanted to share

San Diego’s Greetings: A Very BOLTMAN X-Mas

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EXTERIOR - QUALCOMM STADIUM FIELD - X-MAS EVE As the sun sets on the city of San Diego, a lone figure walks from the home team's locker room of the deserted stadium at a meandering pace. A few lights flicker on as darkness falls, casting the field in odd, ever creeping

No One’s 2017 “Chargers” Bye Week Update

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There has been a fair amount of discussion so far this year of what the new name for the football team formerly residing in San Diego should be. To BOLTMAN, they will forever be the Heretics. To many on this site, various combination of Football/Shitty Clippers and LAwnmowers has been

The Evil Dean

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EXTERIOR - RAMSHACKLE CABIN IN THE WOODS - EARLY DUSK [The camera slowly zooms and then pans around the cabin. There is an odd silence, as not even birds or insects can be heard nearby. Upon reaching the back door, the camera moves upward, until it just looking over the roof

Your “I Haven’t Watched Them Play a Single Snap” Washington [Redacted]s at the BYE

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So far this season, I have watched about a total of one hour of live NFL football, split between two games: The first 30ish minutes of Bears @ Packers on TNF before the rain delay, and the last 30ish minutes of Saints and Dolphins in London. Not having a team

Your Official DFO-CON 2017 Announcement Post

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AFTERNOON - SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - NONDESCRIPT OFFICE BUILDING INTERIOR [An extremely pale but handsome young man sits at his desk, trying to do anything but work. Sensing a presence behind him, he minimizes his open window to a complicated looking spreadsheet and turns around.] Low Commander: Yeah, so, that'll be done in-- Oh,

Stadium of Leaves – Nobody’s 2017 Chargers Preview

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This is a collaborative post from the sick and horrible minds of Old School Zero and Low Commander of the Super Soldiers. You have been warned. [Up in the owner’s box of the vast, expansive, huge, massive, otherworldly large, Brobdingnagian, 30,000 27,000 seat StubHub Legal Scalping Center, DEAN SPANOS sits alone and looks out over the

[DFO] Archives: Electric Origins – The Birth of Evil

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YAXKIN MULUK, 900 BC - GRAND TEMPLE - INTERIOR [The HIGH PRIEST stands before a glorious golden altar leading his congregation of hundreds in prayer. The square-shaped room is massive, with high ceilings and an opening at the very center showing sunny powder blue skies above. An entryway at the far

Fun with Big Beer: “The High End”

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The battle for your dollar rages on in the beer industry. For the last 2 decades, "Big Beer" in North America has tried many different tactics to try and quash the looming threat of micro-breweries taking their existing revenue: threatening to pull advertising to networks airing shows promoting micro-breweries, running