I Just Realized the New “Ghost in the Shell” is Rated PG-13…

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - March 7, 2017March 7, 2017

...and naturally I had to come to the INTERNET to complain about it. Are you fucking kidding me?! A major part of the premise and success of the cyber-punk source material is the complete and ridiculous over the top violence! Just look at some of this shit (unless you are at

A Night at the Opera: BOLTMANIAN RHAPSODY

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - February 10, 2017February 10, 2017

♫ Set to the music of “Bohemian Rhapsody” from Queen ♫ FANS: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a cash grab, One escape from re-al-ity. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see… DEAN SPANOS: I'm such a rich boy, I want your sympathy, Because Dad-dy came, I will go, Pretty high; lots of

New Chargers Helmet Design Proposals

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 27, 2017January 27, 2017

It's been a strange couple of weeks in San Diego. There has been talk of clearing the land on the site where Qualcomm Stadium used to stand, following BOLTMAN'S exodus, in order to make way for a bid at attracting a new sport to San Diego: MLS Soccer. The plan

New Season of Samurai Jack to Premiere on Smarch 11th

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 23, 2017January 23, 2017

Along with the release of Mass Effect: Andromeda, Smarch is going to be considerably less terrible!

Fun with Roger Goodell: A Liar’s Guide for Moving to LA 2 – Electric Byegaloo

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 20, 2017January 20, 2017

After sixteen years of threats, the San Diego Chargers officially filed for relocation last Thursday to move to Los Angeles, a city that has made it abundantly clear that they do not want them. His eyes on smoggier pastures and the false promise of more cash monies, Dean Spanos stomp, stomp,

ELECTRIC EXODUS – The Final Showdown

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 12, 2017January 12, 2017

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - DOWNTOWN - DAY BREAK BOLTMAN: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN BOLTMAN'S DOMAIN. THE FAITHFUL CHARGED ONES MEANDER ABOUT THEIR PITIFUL, MORTAL LIVES AS ANOTHER LONG OFFSEASON BEGINS. BUT BOLTMAN MUST NOT WAIVER! [Shreds an air guitar solo] IT IS UP TO HIM TO ONCE AGAIN LEAD HIS LEGION

[DFO] So Cal Meetup: The Bruery

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - December 14, 2016December 15, 2016

Because we apparently cannot get enough of each other, the [DFO] So Cal branch will be sponsoring a field trip to one of the area's finest brewers of beer, known simply as The Bruery. The Bruery has been featured twice in the Beer Barrel, and although I have not personally

Meanwhile, at the Luxor

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - December 9, 2016December 9, 2016

INTERIOR, LUXOR CASINO & HOTEL - MAIN STAGE [A large audience sits in their seats and murmurs in anticipation of the premiere of Las Vegas' most talked about new show. After a few moments, the lights shut off, and the stage begins to fill with smoke.] ANNOUNCER: Welcome, everyone, to the Luxor

Your “+1” Sunday Night Open Thread

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - November 20, 2016November 20, 2016

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Hey guys, isn't it fun how KICKERS are missing all over the place today? I sure do love how much more EXCITING this is making the game of football! Roger Goodell knows a smart rule change when he sees one, and this certainly cannot POSSIB-LIE go wrong. Scotchy is out tonight

Chip Kelly Calls a Press Conference

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - November 16, 2016November 16, 2016

INTERIOR – 49ERS PRACTICE FACILITY - SANTA CLARA, CA [A group of reporters are seated around a podium, chatting among themselves. A large figure enters the room and slowly waddles up to the microphone.] Chip Kelly: Thank you all for gathering here today. I know that there have been a lot of

Drew Kaser Takes a Tour of Qualcomm Stadium

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - October 12, 2016October 12, 2016

INTERIOR - QUALCOMM STADIUM, SAN DIEGO - MIDDAY [DREW KASER is walking deep within the halls of the stadium with teammates ANTONIO GATES, MELVIN INGRAM and JOSH LAMBO. It is dusty, dank and rusting and the lights occasionally flicker, casting ominous shadows across the narrow, seemingly endless corridor.] KASER: ...so after explaining

“Summoned by BOLTMAN” – A Boots On The Ground Chargers Game Experience

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 22, 2016September 22, 2016

It's not every day that one of us gets a call to greatness; it's even less often that we actually answer. At 9:15am on Sunday morning, I was roaming the aisles of a grocery store about a mile from my ziggurat, in search of a few missing items for my hosting