A Modester Proposal: DFO Buys the Denver Broncos (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 18, 2022

I have been called many things: Dreamer. Madman. Mrs. Ethel Burstein. But this is not some delusion of grandeur, like that time I thought I could renew my drivers license in less than two hours. No, this dream can come true. WILL come true. DFO is going to buy the Denver Broncos. It sort

Coach Zimmer Takes a Long Walk in the Woods.

yeah right - January 11, 2022January 11, 2022

banner image via [exterior Coach Zimmers' compound in Kentucky] Coach Zimmer walks in the front door of his expansive residence looking forlorn. He tosses his keys on the hall table and removes his Vikings cap. Coach Zimmer: "Hello? Beansie? Maria? I'm home!" A distant squeaking sound is heard and approaches Coach. "EEK EEEK EEEK!" CZ: "Beansie!

25 Questions About….

ballsofsteelandfury - December 20, 2021December 19, 2021

One of the most messed-up commercials we've all seen for a while. Of course, it's by one of the tech companies that are trying to take over your entire life. I speak of the Alexa commercial with the old couple. For those of you that have not

A modest proposal for the 2028 LA Olympics

ballsofsteelandfury - December 3, 2021December 2, 2021

As many of you know, I was born in México. La Ciudad de México, to be exact. That translates literally to "The City of México" but if you really want to understand México and the relationship between its capital and the rest of the country, you should

Cincinnati Bengals Bye Week Update – State of the Steelers

ballsofsteelandfury - December 1, 2021November 30, 2021

First of all, allow me to show off this bad boy: I love me some Cincinnati. I love WKRP. I think Redshirt is one of our coolest commenters. I have fond memories of watching Ken Anderson play back in the day. Unfortunately, the National Football League franchise knowns as

Better Know a Draft Pick: Larry King Not Live Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - April 27, 2021April 27, 2021

(a.k.a. - the Tuesday Evening Open Thread - Beerguyrob) Hello, friends. I notice that the National Football League, sometimes known as the "NFL," is hosting their annual player selection this week, and yours truly has some thoughts. Yes, I am still dead, but my head's cryogenic storage pod only gets

The DFO Monday Morning Mock Draft, Chapter The Second

Horatio Cornblower - February 22, 2021February 21, 2021

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One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated

Larry King Not Live: A [DFO] Hate Week Special

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 3, 2021

Hello, friends, just a few random thoughts from yours truly. Yes, I have been dead more than 10 days. But I was a rich old white man in America, so my every opinion, musing and whim will continue to be centrally important until the heat death of the Universe. Also, my

The D of S, Vol. II: The Earthly Paradise

Senor Weaselo - January 20, 2021January 20, 2021

Night on top of the mountain of Purgatory. tWBS: So, what's gonna happen? Senor: Beats me. After all, I'm not gonna be with you. All I can do is watch. tWBS: Wait, seriously? You can't come and watch? But which commenter's going to escort me through all of Heaven? Senor: Why would you want

The D of S, Vol. II: Terrazzo VII

Senor Weaselo - January 13, 2021January 12, 2021

tWBS: Why am I nervous? Senor: Because as I said, this is the lust terrace upcoming, and you posted compilations of sexy pictures on the Internet for multiple years? tWBS: Hey, they weren't pornographic! Senor: Yeah, but society's a bunch of prudes. tWBS: And you did it too! Senor: Like twice? Probably a difference there,

The D of S, Vol. II: Terrazzo VI

Senor Weaselo - January 6, 2021January 6, 2021

Place and time: Walking up into the sixth terrace of Purgatory, right after Mozart ditched them. tWBS: You know, I've been wondering. I've gone through Hell and Purgatory, and dealt with a whole ton of people on the way. And I could understand them all. Why? Senor: Okay, first off, out of

The D of S, Vol. II: Terrazzo V

Senor Weaselo - December 30, 2020December 30, 2020

Place: Walking into the fifth terrace of Purgatory, when… Voice: Adhaesit pavimento anima mea. My soul cleaves to the dust; revive me with Your Word. A soul lays prostrated on the ground. tWBS: Hey buddy, you okay? And can you speak up? I can't really hear you mumbling into the ground. Voice: My soul