The Prem Before the Break Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - March 18, 2023March 17, 2023

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Next week, while I am traveling (I know, not looking forward to that experience whatsoever) Hippo will miss the last international break of 2022-23. Which is to say, hooray for me. All things considered, a reasonable slate of fixtures. Because of misaligned DST, we start later than usual (8:30, USA) with

Sleep-In Saturday Lesser Thread

King Hippo - March 11, 2023March 10, 2023

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Please do not wake up early to a bunch of wanking over the Redshite (away to Bournemouth - 7:30, USA). PLEASE. Most of the tension is for the 10:00 windowm with Very Relegation Friendly Everton hosting Praise Beesus (10:00, USA). At least, I suspect that is what will get USA coverage. The

Nice Jerb, Minnows! Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - March 4, 2023March 3, 2023

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Before we get to the weekend in the Prem, let's acknowledge the upstarts making noise in the FA Cup. Here is how the Flacco Eight break down: Two bullies (Men United; City of Men) Two Prem surprise packages (Trashbirds; Mighty Whitey) THREE Championship sides (Team Knifey; Boo-urnley; Blackburn) One miracle

God Bless Don Carlo – Saturday Footy Musings

King Hippo - February 25, 2023February 24, 2023

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There is a very light schedule this week (no early fixture at all), so let's also look back at mid-week in Shempions. Oh my cats, y'all. The pure JOY of the Redshite melting down, in the home leg of the tie. Up 2-nil after 15 minutes of play, only to lose

Oh, We Got A Title Race Goin’

King Hippo - February 18, 2023February 18, 2023

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Did you remember to blow off work to watch City away to Arsenal mid-week? An absolute cracker of a match. King's Afrikan Water Pistols outplayed the reigning champs for about 70' - but were level at 1. And those last 20' were a dagger to the heart. City now are ahead on

Preb Owl – We’ve Only Just Begun…

King Hippo - February 12, 2023February 12, 2023

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It seems the Carpentering shall fall to Hippo. Leeds and Man U (the football squadron, not the uni-themed "twink and bear" porn series) are currently nil-nil on USA. Angry Pep will put on his live action snuff film next (11:30, also USA). I hear tell there are puppy and kitty Owls,

Total Recall – Revisiting Footy at the Half-ish-way Point

King Hippo - February 4, 2023February 3, 2023

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Hippo is still too angry to see straight. But good news (if not an Evertonian) - footy is back this weekend. Bad news? The fixture slate sucks hobo asshole. At least until tomorrow's Spotlight Dance (Spurs v. City, 11:30, NBC). So, let us look back upon what has happened to date,

A Year of Fury, Anger, and Chaos (Subbing for Hippo Who Is Also Angry)

jjfozz - January 21, 2023January 20, 2023

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“Did you hear that it’s Movember?” “Oh, I’m not drinking because it’s Dry January.” People who say these things should have their faces washed in hot gravel. No one needs this. I don’t need this. But as part of society, I cannot escape these brain damaged fucktards who have lives so shallow and

Post Self-Justification Lesser Footy Thread

King Hippo - January 14, 2023January 13, 2023

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Every January, to my great discomfort, I am summoned to justify my continued existence within the law firm. It's like somebody decided, "hey, we don't think Hippo focuses enough on his self-hatred and feelings of personal and professional failure - let's stare at him and make him do a little

Celebrating Afrikan-American Monday with the Bloodeyes Gang!

King Hippo - January 9, 2023January 9, 2023

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Tonight, we crown a JV NFL shempion. Neither side is even evil, which makes for a nice change of paces. All in on the Bloodeyes, of course. Because HAIL ENTROPY (and the Hypnotoad). But first, some items of note. The Producers-ish 500s front office fired the first A-AM shot, firing Hobo

FA Cup Saturday! Open(ish) Thread

King Hippo - January 7, 2023January 6, 2023

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Life without FITBAW is just terrible, that's why Damar Hamlin asked about the score before his goddamned breathing tube came out. But we get Chefs/Raiders and Tits/Jaguras tonight, so nap accordingly. In the interim, here are the fixtures I find randomly interesting: Gillingham v. Leicester City (7:30, ESPN+) Upset TOTES predicted here. Formerly Foxy

Your 2023 AVN Awards Preview Post

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ballsofsteelandfury - January 4, 2023January 8, 2023

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Yes, get ready for the traffic to start rolling in. It's that time of year again! For the first time since COVID, the AVN Awards will be held live in Las Vegas on the first weekend in January. Talk about bringing in the new year with a bang! I'm sorry.

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