MAYHEM'S 2023 PREDICTION: "6-11. It’s not going to be a pretty 6-11 either, and without a first rounder next year, I wouldn’t hold out much hope there either." HOW'S THAT LOOKING?: Even Worse! The Panthers are 0-6, showing almost no signs of life on either side of the ball. So: meatloaf. Or
Assholes
“So Far, So Good” Said The Skydiver With No Parachute: 2023 Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the Bye (and Open Thread)
MAYHEM'S 2023 PREDICTION: "4-13. Look for Ryan Tannehill or Kirk Cousins to sign here next year if they don't have the draft position for a top-tier QB." HOW'S THAT LOOKING?: Not great, Bob! The Bucs are currently 3-1, and that is their best-likely-case scenario. Sure, a radioactive cheese steak could have
Burdened with Glorious Purpose: 2023 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread
2022 PREDICTION: 9-8 2022 REALITY: 13-3! (No record for Cincy game, on account of Damar Hamlin temporarily dying) From last year's Preview: There is nothing more depressing to a Bills fan than an expectation of success. We can't cope with it, because of our near-religious faith in The Narrative. The Narrative has taught us
MRSA MRSA MAAAAAN: 2023 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Season Preview (and Open Thread)
Can’t We Just Hit “Simulate Season”?: 2023 Carolina Panthers Season Preview
2022 PREDICTION: Bad 2022 REALITY: Worse (but not bad enough) The Carolina Panthers. They have been in the league for nearly 30 years, and yet they have never shaken that Expansion Franchise stink despite playing in two Super Bowls- which I attribute to their insistence on teal-adjacent colors. They exist solely to
Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 18: The 2013 Youabian Puma
Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 17: The 2009 Covini C6W
[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! THESE FUCKING COCKSUCKER MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS, I CALL THEM THE SS MINNOWS. AN 0-3 START TO THE SEASON GETS YOU EXECUTED AT CENTER FIELD IN ARENA BALL. God DAMMIT,
Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 16: The 2005 Citroën C3 Pluriel
[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! BUT YOU KNOW WHO'S NOT FUCKIN' BACK? MY GODDAMN FOOTBALL TEAM. FUCK, DO WE FUCKIN' SUCK. Holy SHIT. Practise this week is nothing but suicides and Oklahoma drills.
Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 15: The 1983 Glenfrome Facet
Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 14: The 1975 Bricklin SV-1
A Tradition Unlike Any Other (Barf): New Post-COVID (kinda)
Hello, friends. It's a tradition unlike any other. It's The Masters. I'm Jim Nantz, and it's my distinct pleasure to bring you one of the great events in all of sports. It's Augusta National Golf Club, the Mecca of professional golf. The pride, the heritage, the racial purity. Yes, The Masters embodies
Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 13: The 1970 Bond Bug
[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! You wanna know some fucking FACTS about football? Well, I'll fuckin' tell you: with the Showboats listed at +500 to win the USFL title, that's a good fuckin'