Yes, it's not Presidents' Day. A great holiday when a lazy ass Balls can wake up at the crack of 10 AM, throw some shorts on (never pants!), and get to the mall to catch the 10 AM showing of Deadpool expertly calculating the amount of time the stupid previews
Crossovers
Super Bowl “L” Predictions: Blake Griffin
Hi everyone, I'm NBA All-Star Blake Griffin of the Los Angeles Clippers and I'm here to give my prediction for Super Bo... What was that? No, the Los Angeles CLIPPERS. Yes, they are a real team. No, I'm not mispronouncing "Lakers" we are the "Clippers." We play at the Staples Center and everything. Can
The Curse of Oak Island, Part the Third
A New Year’s message from Kenny Rogers
(You are reading this because Balls of Steel is a horrible gambler and decided that Blake fucking Bortles actually had a chance against the Mighty Hoyer Country.) Kids, gather 'round ole Kenny. I'm gonna tell ya 'bout the man that taught me everything I know about bettin'. Yup, the ORIGINAL gambler
The Curse of Oak Island, Part The First
Year in Review: 2015 as an Acid Flashback
Jesus, this shit is strong! Hopefully this doesn't lead to one of those horrible introspective nightmares that last 4 hours or so. I need strong drink and music to level this angry bastard out. /lies down //puts on LP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtAHLV7hkXE Holy suffering Christ what a strange year this past one has been. I don't
Donald Trump Gets A Friendly Call
A phone rings in a spacious, luxurious apartment in Trump Tower. A large, dead caterpillar perched atop a molding orange answers.
Aldon Smith Appeals His Suspension
INT. DAYTIME - ROGER GOODELL'S OFFICE ROGER GOODELL - the NFL commissioner - sits behind a desk shrouded with a dark sheet. ALDON SMITH enters the office. ROGER: Hi Aldon. Thanks for coming in. As you know, the commissioner's office has been looking over your appeal to your suspension. ALDON: I appreciate you
Meanwhile, on the CW…
EXT. DAYTIME - SANTA LUISA Scene opens with a helicopter shot over the ocean, sliding sideways over smooth sets of waves, bright sunlight reflecting off the surface of the water and causing occasional lens flares. The camera settles over a group of surfers floating in the lineup. A whistle is heard -
Meanwhile, in Detroit…(Part 2)
EXT. DOWNTOWN DETROIT, FINANCIAL DISTRICT - DAY A bullet-ridden car screeches to a stop in front of a glittering skyscraper. RQBOCOP emerges with purpose and strides to the front door of the building. LUKE JOECKEL: [holds open door, ushers RQBOCOP through] Go right on in, sir. RQBOCOP enters the lobby and looks at
High Plains Grifter
Kirk Cousins Visits A Subway
[WASHINGTON D.C., SUBWAY INTERIOR] Sandwich Architect: Hey man, don't you think it's about time we took down that RGIII cardboard cutout we've got by the door? He's not even starting for the [*Redacted] s anymore. Assistant Manager: Yeah, you're probably right. Someone said the same thing yesterday. Is there room for it in