Donald Trump Gets A Friendly Call

A phone rings in a spacious, luxurious apartment in Trump Tower. A large, dead caterpillar perched atop a molding orange answers.                                                                                

A Rational Response From A Patriot Fan

FACK YOU! FACK YOU! FAAAACCCCCKKK YOU YOU FACKIN' FACKS! YOUAH AHLL JUST JAHLOUS OF GREAHTRIOTS NAHTION! WEAH SMAHRTAH, TAFFAH, HAHHAHDAH THAHN THE REST OF YOU FACKS! [dips entire can of Skoal Wintergreen] [[spits juice on passerby seven-year-old wearing a Yankees hat]] THESE WARLD WIDE LEADAH FACKS OWAH NUTHAN MOAH THAHN GOODELL CROHHNIES HIHHAHD