Don’t say the pitcher has lost his fastball if you can’t hit the curve

What the?!? Hang with me. There's a logic to this. First off,  let's make it clear that this post is about this: Later this evening,  season 9 of one of our favourite shows will begin. Some of us,  including me, are super excited about this. Others,  some of which I know are among us, 

Goddess II – Episode 13

She was stretched out as far as her legs could go and there were tongues all over her body.  One on her left nipple and one on her right.  Another was licking her clit while yet another was tonguing her asshole  Balls was kissing her as the others did their

Goddess II – Episode 12

[Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Skyview Suite, 9:36pm] Housekeeping Gal#1 (carrying multiple bags containing the garbage from the previous night's party):  *sigh*  OK, we're finally done.  (holding up pink strap on dildo) ....  I presume you want to keep this? Balls (giggling):  Hehehe.  Yes, we might need that again tonight. Housekeeping Gal#2:  What

Goddess II – Episode 11

[Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Skyview Suite, 8:03pm] tWBS finishes showering and towels himself off.  After wrapping the towel around his waist, he moves from the bathroom and through the bedroom toward the main room of the suite.  When he approaches the open doors he hears some unmistakable sounds.  Quietly, he

Goddess II – Episode 10

[Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Casino Floor, 5:44am] Balls, Vanessa and tWBS sit at a bar overlooking the casino floor, sipping Mimosas.  From a distance, they watch as Leticia continues playing Blackjack at a table about 50 feet away.  The other two players who were seated at the table when Leticia

At The Movies VIII – Savage Beach

[Interior, DFO Clubhouse, Early Evening] Beastie and tWBS enter through the front door.  Balls sits at the table drinking a fruit, yogurt, tequila, and metamucil smoothie. Balls:  Where the hell have you guys been?  I've been waiting for you assholes forever to watch this movie. Beastie and tWBS (in unison):  Grumble grumble. Balls:  Fine,

Goddess II – Episode 9

[Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Citizens Kitchen and Bar, 3:41am] Balls, Vanessa, Leticia and tWBS all sit together at a table, eating. Balls (to Vanessa):  How are the pancakes? Vanessa:  They're great!  You want a bite? Balls:  No.  I'm good with my California Omelette.  This Pico de Gallo is amazing... Balls (to Leticia):  How's the

Your Lazy Saturday morning open thread

Man,  there is really nothing to do today except workout,  laundry,  and sleep. Fuck tanning.  If you want skin cancer,  go for it. The soccer slate is relatively empty as all the leagues are off due to this weekend being a FIFA Friendly weekend and a ton of national teams are either

Goddess II – Episode 8

Previously, on Goddess II.... When the elevator doors open... tWBS (to Balls):  Holy shit, you weren't kidding. Balls:  Inorite???? The foursome enters the suite. Leticia:  I need to go freshen up...  (to tWBS)  ...  While I'm gone, don't you dare do anything I'll have to make you regret later. Vanessa:  Me too, I'll go with you

Goddess II – Episode 7

Previously, on Goddess II.... [Red Square Bar, Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Approximately Midnight] Balls (to Vanessa):  See?  I knew we’d find them here. tWBS (to Leticia):  See?  I knew they’d find us here. Leticia:  Unbelievable. tWBS (turns to Balls):  We’ve been looking for your asses all night.  So where’s the case?  You said you

Goddess II – Episode 6

[Sky View Suite, Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, 11:09pm] When the elevator doors open, Balls and Vanessa lead their entourage inside. Balls (to the crowd while turning on the music):  OK Folks...  Try not to break anything.  Bedrooms are off limits.  Otherwise, make yourselves at home and enjoy yourselves.  There's beer and

Oscar Night 2018 Open Thread

Good evening, Commentists! It's Oscar night, and I'm here to set the stage for your finest cinematological dick jokes. Here are the nominees for Best Picture, ranked, and my predictions for which of them will actually win. 10. Darkest Hour Impeccably acted and unexpectedly pretty to look at. There are no bad movies