Your “Which Apocalypse Do I Choose?” Election Night Open Thread

Note: I'm putting this together in bits, because I've been (voluntarily) seconded by the Ministry of Education for a couple of days to help them draft policy related to Adult & Alternative Education. Sorry if it's a bit light and/or ranty. NFL News: It might only be Week 10, but I

Why the TV ratings are down and why it doesn’t matter because the NFL is dying

There have been many, and I mean MANY, articles out recently trying to explain the NFL ratings decline.  For the most part, I've heard about them from Twitter and from comments here.  Once I get to the article, I skim it to see what the author's underlying reason is.  Then,

Your “In An Age of Millionaires, It’s Still a Petty League” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Non-trade deadline things: Percy Harvin has come out of retirement & signed with the Bills. They play the Seahawks on Monday night. Terrell Owens is willing to come out of retirement / quit Cinnabon to play for the Eagles. Andre Johnson retired from the Titans. T.O. was unavailable

Is Bad NFL better than No NFL?

As I write this, we are in the Saturday before Week 8 of the 2016 Regular Season.  We started out with the treat that was the high-chroma matchup of Thursday Night Turdball poster children, the Jaguras and Titans.  Luckily for Bortles and Jaymes aficionados/fantasy football owners, the Garbage Time King did

CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition

Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it's perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I currently inhabit. I'm 35. I'm happily married and have no kids. And that's the hole in the donut for Halloween. Age 1-13: Dress up and get candy. Age

Your “‘Browns’? Who Are The ‘Browns’?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes: Multiple sources say the Eagles are trying to convince Chip Kelly to trade them Torrey Smith. I guess they need someone who can outrun a Carson Wentz deep ball, because the constant overthrows are making the other receivers look bad, and ROOKIES GOTTA LEARN, MAN!. Why they aren't

Your “Negan Is Who We Thought He Was!” Walking Dead Recap

  Not that I should have to warn you, but Anyway...   First off, it sure was nice of the NFL to flex a game into prime time that would be so bad we would be able to catch "The Walking Dead" without much interruption to the viewing enjoyment. Seriously, (gifs via; Vine via) it's like

CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition

So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing

Your “Today is a Dead News Day” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

It seems that in honour of tonight's third and final Presidential debate, all NFL news is doom & gloom: Skipping practice: Joe Flacco; Odell Beckham Jr.; Terrelle Prior. Out multiple weeks: Eddie Lacy; Ben Roethlisberger. Fined: Vontaze Burfict - $75000 + no games. Benched: Ryan Fitzpatrick. Welcome back, Geno. Shoulda

Your “Something…Something…HOCKEY!!!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Philip Rivers says that "nobody should feel sorry for me" about how the Chargers season has gone thus far. Aside from former teammates, I didn't think anyone was. Maybe Satan, but only because Jesus has forsaken both of them. Next time you hit the Strip, that extra $20

Your “Uhh…Go Mets?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL notes: Due to Unsportsmanlike Conduct calls being up 220% this year over last (HAIL BLEERGH!),  the League is going to provide teams and officials with "clarification" of what the rule means. Hopefully, this leads to Jeff Triplette trying to describe the "Hingle McCringleberry". According to Dean Blandino, NFL VP

Your “All My Rowdy Friends Came Over And Wrecked The Show” Tuesday Open Thread

NFL Notes: Greg Hardy has become more untouchable due to his arrest for alleged cocaine possession. So, yay! Dez Bryant ‘missed’ his MRI on Monday. Because injuries simply go away if you don’t think about them. Le’Veon Bell, coming off suspension, got the all-clear to resume practicing with the Steelers. Mike