Instant Hippo Thoughts – 16 January Divisional Games

Reflections

King Hippo - January 17, 2016January 16, 2016

Saturday's theme? Coaching dumbfuckery. Don't worry, there was more than enough to go around. Andy Reid did every Andy Reid thing in the Andy Reid book (well, I dunno if he ate an entire ham, but I am not willing to rule it out, either), especially on the clock

Your “Run, Olivia Munn-It’s A Trap!” NFC Division Semi-Final Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 16, 2016January 16, 2016

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Why is it that QB Palmer can't have nice things? He was imprisoned in Cincy then renaissance-ed in Arizony then season-injured. Now he's having a career year and I can't help but feel it will all come tumbling down. Was his dad a preacher in the Church of God With

Commentist Beer Barrel: A Thirst Artist

makeitsnowondem - January 16, 2016

When I run out of a beer, unless that beer is Sierra Nevada Celebration, and unless Sierra Nevada Celebration is still being sold somewhere, I replace it with something new. There are a few other scattered exceptions to this rule, but the concept of a "go-to" beer is more or

Your [gets down on knees] “Please Chiefs, Just This Once!” Playoff Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 16, 2016

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Reporter: "The stakes are pretty high here, aren't they?" Coach Reid: [rolls eyes] "Of course they are-three quarters of an inch at the very least!. [enters trance, talks in monotone] And the twice-baked potato must have bacon in it. The salad must have bacon. The roasted asparagus must have bacon. [emerges

Pete Carroll Goes Over the Gameplan

Beerguyrob - January 16, 2016

Saturday morning, 10:30 AM, Residence Inn Charlotte Uptown, Charlotte, NC Pete Carroll: All right fellas, let’s get the show on the road. Make sure you load up your plates before the fine people at this Marriott property take all the food away. [on his wrist, Pete Carroll’s Fitbit registers “NFL +1”] Jon Ryan: (through

DFO, money comes in – Playoffs update!

Gambling

ballsofsteelandfury - January 16, 2016January 15, 2016

Last week, all the home teams were underdogs. They all lost, but some covered. This mostly helped King Hippo to keep the lead even though his two picks flopped. WhyEaglesWhy split, but a favorable increase in bet size on the right wagers made it an overall positive week. DTZM fell

Divisional Weekend Eve! Live Thread

WCS - January 15, 2016January 15, 2016

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Ah, the night before the NFL's second round. The night before NFL's Elite Eight is eventually dwindled to its Final Four. Hopes, dreams, and delusion reign, and for many, those will be crushed like an all-you-can eat gravy buffet in Indiana. Tonight, though, we shall have to entertain ourselves. There is

Marcus Mariota Visits Golden Gate Park

NFL News

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 15, 2016

[Marcus Mariota walks alone through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, California. He seems to have a confused look on his face, as he sits down on a park bench in front of a small pond. A few ducks swim by. One stops and stares at him.] Marcus: Will you be

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 15, 2016January 15, 2016

Man, the Steelers are so, so fucked. No Le'Veon Bell, THE BEN can't throw more than probably 10 yards, and now no Antonio Brown. Funny enough, all this destruction has come solely from Vontaze Burfict. I guess he's the new Bernard Pollard of the league. Admittedly, though, [puts on hazmat

How I Know If You’re Stupid

montythisseemsstrangetome - January 15, 2016January 14, 2016

If there is a conversation about almost any topic, and you make a statement that starts with "My thing is...", then you have done me a great service because I now know I don't have to pay attention to anything else you say. What follows "My thing is..." is invariably

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 17)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 15, 2016January 14, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse. There's a large tarp over the huge hole in the wall. Darkest Timeline Zach Morris, still grinning and immobile, is propped up in a corner, dressed in a tuxedo and holding a martini glass in his hand. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is on the couch

Your Thursday Night Open Post

scotchnaut - January 14, 2016

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So we're 14 days into 2016 and I have an uncomfortable question to ask...how are your New Year's resolutions coming along? First things first, if yer gonna tell me that, "I don't do resolutions because [some variation of 'that's lame'/'it's an arbitrary day'/'real change comes from within when you're ready