Author: Wakezilla

I Watched It So You Didn’t Have To: Santa Girl

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Welcome back to DFO’s Annual Christmas movies review. This feature is where one of us poor bastards watches a Christmas movie and summarizes it for you, so you can go for a snooze or drink more booze when your significant other forces you to watch the movie. Today’s Christmas movie

The Miami Dolphins at the Bye

Another sold out crowd in Miami
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Hello everyone! Welcome to the Dolphins at the bye—also known as the one week where Miami can’t lose on the field.  I’m your host, Wakezilla. Since this diarrhea-inside-a-dumpster-fire-outside-of-an-abortion-clinic season is going according to plan, there isn’t much to talk about, except for two positive stories: Raekown McMillan has turned into an

A Modest Proposal for the Miami Dolphins

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"Hey Wakey, did you catch the Dolphins game?" a friend on Facebook will ask me, presumably with a shit eating grin on their face because they saw on the sports ticker that Miami lost their second straight game by over 6 touchdowns. For the second straight week, I will have answered

Your “Perhaps Lesser Footy is better than Greater Footy after all” Thread

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Good morning everyone! By the time this post airs, your pal Wakezilla will be up and atom, off on his vacation to Portland, Oregon, followed by staying in a cabin at CanNon Beach (Oregon's coast). Jesus, I have never deserved a vacation more than this year. I got promoted in April

Your “Holy shit, the Dolphins still exist?” 2019 Preview

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/Scene opens with Wakezilla laying in bed, his two hands behind his head and his eyes wide open. Underneath the sheets is another body that begins just below Wakezilla's waist, with a head bobbing up and down. The bobbing stops and the sheets are raised to reveal Mrs. Wakezilla, wearing

Your Kill! Kill! Kill! How Lesser Footy caused World War III open thread

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As much as we like to pretend sports is pure and innocent, we all know she has taken a few pokes from the tips of wealthy businessmen over the years and has definitely done anal (it's the sex  God can't see if you're hetero-- sorry LGBTQ). It's why in every Lesser

TWIFY: Qatar. Today’s Copa América team Preview

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 Wakezilla sitting in the back of a limo while his driver, a black male, has a stressed look on his face, is driving on Salwa road in Doha, Qatar. Wakezilla: Marhaba! Assalamu Alaikum my DFO friends! Your pal Wakezilla recently got a life changing promotion that required me to move to

Venezuela: Starving for your attention. Your 2019 Copa América Team Preview

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Reasons why you should cheer for Venezuela: Venezuela is starving for the attention of lesser footy fans who do not have any blood ties to any country participating in the Copa América. Their team nickname, La Vino Tinto (Red wine), is literally encouraging you to drink alcohol while watching them play! Their

Your Saturday Morning Lesser Footy Thread. Now with Obituaries!

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Good morning, It's Soccer Saturday and Matchday 38 of 38 in the EPL, meaning we will have a Champion today. Hippo hands Wakezilla a note. Wakezilla reads the note All the EPL games are on Sunday and not today? Well that's some bullshit. Way to let the Americans win, England. Seeing how the season

Your Saturday AM Lesser Footy Thread

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Good morning Lesser Footy fans! We’re at match day 34 and there are some key fixtures occurring today. First, here’s what you might have. . . *The screen goes all blurry and the sound of white noise can be heard. The camera is now clear and all you can see is a