NFL News: This was dumped late-Friday like so-much bad news, but the Jags have locked up Blake Bortles for three more years. Three years at $54 million, with $26 million of that guaranteed. He will make $20 million this year. He could make a maximum of $66.5 million with all incentives
Search Results for: bleergh report
Your “The Lesson Learned Is ‘Not To Care'” Monday Evening Open Thread
Well, I believe I speak for the majority when I say, those were some real Week-1 preseason games. Oh, and fuck Dean Spanos with a rusty shiv. μαλάκας! NFL Notes: The Lord giveth, and BLEERGH taketh away: A week after signing a new five-year deal, Devonta Freeman is in concussion protocol. He'll sit
[DFO] Archives: Circle Jerk Weekend (Part 2)
...and the refractory period is now declared OVER. Hope you're ready for round 2! AUTHOR: Senor Weaselo FAVORITE PERSONAL POST: House Of Pain (the first Expo BotG) EXPLANATION: I thought about the China post, the 2/13/17 open thread, and my Turkey Euro preview, because fuck 'em *gets arrested by Erdogan*, but this is the
CrimeBeat!: Giving Up the Gun Edition
[Note From The "Author": pursuant to a number of comments across multiple posts, CrimeBeat! will officially be a politics-free zone until things calm the fuck down. I trust that you are all (mostly) intelligent adults who understand the responsibility to keep yourselves informed and participate in the political process. I
Your “What Is Done Cannot Be Now Amended” Tuesday Evening Open Thread
NFL News: And the first NFL off-season arrest / Crimebeat! story of 2017 goes to... Adam "Pac Man" Jones! Sorry to those of you who had Vontaze Burfict in your pool. So close! "Assault, disorderly conduct, obstructing official business, and something called 'harassment with a bodily substance,' a charge which was
CrimeBeat! Triumphant Return Edition
Oh men. MEN! I apologize, from the deepest cockles of my heart, for the no-doubt-emotionally-devastating wasteland that your lives have been during the prolonged hiatus of CrimeBeat! But fear not, sinners, for the Right Reverend is here to give you succor. (Note: sorry for the format- doing this from my phone
Your “Uhh…Go Mets?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread
NFL notes: Due to Unsportsmanlike Conduct calls being up 220% this year over last (HAIL BLEERGH!), the League is going to provide teams and officials with "clarification" of what the rule means. Hopefully, this leads to Jeff Triplette trying to describe the "Hingle McCringleberry". According to Dean Blandino, NFL VP
Your “Is Doug Flutie Still On Dancing With The Stars?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread
NFL Notes: A saviour has been found for The Factory! Clipboard Jesus himself, Charlie Whitehurst, has come home from vacation and has been signed to become the Browns designated injury for Week 4. Cody Kessler will likely start Week 3 against the 0-2 Dolphins, but once he gets hurt it's either
Your “He’s Probably Cut By Columbus Day” Monday Open Thread
NFL Weekend Injury & Early Cuts Round-Up: Nice work, Mark Sanchez - Trevor Siemian has been named Denver's Week 1 starter. Luke Kuechly is listed as day-to-day due to blood loss from his hard-on. kudos to ESPN for going the extra mile and pondering if Siemian might be the worst Week
CrimeBeat!: Isn’t This Where We Came In? Edition
Jeebus Cripes. As Albert Einstein (probably never) said, "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity." And somehow the last year feels like
CrimeBeat!: Anticlimax Edition
Well fuckery. I mean, Fourth of July weekend is traditionally a feast for your everyday Pulp Sports Crime Writer, and not just because Uncle Rick and Aunt Rita made hot dogs AND ribs AND hot links AND italian beef AND that shitty Jello-mold thing. It's the perfect convergence of 1.
Dark Deeds Merit Dark Rewards
December 6th, 2015 New Orleans, Louisiana Hours had past since the one loss Carolina Panthers continued their impressive season with a win over the New Orleans Saints. The Saints locker room, cleared of players, staff, and reporters, sat in darkness. Even the janitors had long since departed home to the comfort of their families