Elaborate Ways of Getting Kicked In The Dick – England at the 2024 Euros (A Tuesday Night Open Thread)

The Maestro - June 11, 2024June 11, 2024

I am ready to get hurt again. I mean it. There's nothing this team can do to me anymore to make me feel pain. I have seen absolutely everything go wrong for England's national football team in increasingly more aggravating, painful, and confounding ways over these last several decades. I have no

Lesser Week el Tres, JV NFL Week Nil Open Thread

King Hippo - August 26, 2023August 25, 2023

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Apparently, 26 August is National Blow Notre Dame Day (congratulations to those who celebrate). Not much other excuse for them playing bad-even-for-their-recent-history Naval Academy crew...with essentially the ENTIRE slate to themselves. Seriously, this is absolute monkey feces. But I get ahead of myself, we have good Premiership action first. Cherries host Spurs

Prem Week el Segundo – Open Thread

King Hippo - August 19, 2023August 18, 2023

Did everybody enjoy week one? I mean, a home loss ain't never a great start...but at least Everton tried to play football. A bit Brentford-ish a vibe, perhaps? Anyway, we had Friday Night Footy again, and the peoples say amen. Poor Team Knifey, looked like their HT adjustments would earn them

And So It Begins! Footy Renewed

King Hippo - August 12, 2023August 11, 2023

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We kicked off the Premier League under Boo-urnley's Friday Night Lights. What is the bestest reality check for the confident champions of the Championship? Oh yeah, a goal from Erling Haaland like 3 minutes into play. To their credit, the Clarets hung in, playing evenly for the next 30 or so

Women’s World Cup: Here Come The Norse Saturday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - July 8, 2023July 8, 2023

Editor's note: I am a bad bad Balls. I screwed up AGAIN and just realized I was supposed to write a Saturday Night Open Thread. Instead of a Karen Carpenter job, I present to you Horatio's fine Norway preview. Enjoy! The Norwegian women won the World Cup in 1995 and they've

Women’s World Cup: Is That A Great Dane In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - July 7, 2023July 5, 2023

Fun fact, per Wikipedia, the Danish Women's National Lesser Footy team represents both Denmark and Greenland, so if you've been sitting tight on "how many Inuit does it take to get a soccer ball into a net" jokes, well, today is your day. Also you're probably a lunatic. Nicknamed The Red

Playoffs?? – A 3-Day Weekend of Finales

King Hippo - May 27, 2023May 25, 2023

Have an extra drink (or PILL - we believes in diversity and inclusion here at DFO) for Wembley's groundskeeping crew. Three finals (each potentially going 120 minutes) in three days, starting with The Most Valuable Match in Football as Luton Town and Coventry City square off for the last golden ticket

Playoffs??? An Addams Family Miracle

King Hippo - May 20, 2023May 19, 2023

Were you watching on Thursday? I was, and I still don't believe it. Wednesday lost the away leg nil-4 to Dick Town (aka Petersborough), a gap that no side in EFL playoff HISTORY had ever overcome. But Wednesday scored two in the first half, allowing the supporters to dream and causing

Playoffs?? Are You Kidding Me?? – A Lesser Primer

King Hippo - May 13, 2023May 12, 2023

With respect to our many King's Afrikan Water Pistols supporters...there ain't no Title race. Silver medal is damned fine work, for Handsome Mikel and his very young (by contender standards) squad. I hope they make it all the way across the line next season, but progress is very rarely a straight-line endeavoUr. You

Ides of April Lesser Funhouse

King Hippo - April 15, 2023April 14, 2023

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Onward we trudge, with at least Most Glorious NFL Draft starting to peek around the corner. But alas, summer also lurks - we had one hell of a thunderstorm in North Cakalaky as I type this (Friday morning). At least it won't be in the 90s when the clouds part.

Men Untied Rise Again? Lesser Footy Thread

King Hippo - April 8, 2023April 7, 2023

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While we wait on the Easter Bunny to spring back into life, at least there is sportsball to keep us occupado. Home to Still Shite But Trying Harder Everton (7:30, USA) should be a nice cure for the Fightin' Wakeys goalscoring woes. I am still mad at them for capitulating so meekly to

Nice Jerb, Minnows! Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - March 4, 2023March 3, 2023

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Before we get to the weekend in the Prem, let's acknowledge the upstarts making noise in the FA Cup. Here is how the Flacco Eight break down: Two bullies (Men United; City of Men) Two Prem surprise packages (Trashbirds; Mighty Whitey) THREE Championship sides (Team Knifey; Boo-urnley; Blackburn) One miracle