The Footy Before The Storm

King Hippo - January 3, 2026January 3, 2026

110

Welcome to the hellish realization that the 2-week-long vacation is nearly over. As is the NFL regular season. FUCK. ME. SIDEWAYS. Naut du Scotch will be by shortly to take you into the Black Panther Party, plus late night FITBAW action. But we are done with JV exhibitions, and also pass the

A Yinzer Rant About Dirt (Stillers At the Bye Primer)

WCS - October 8, 2025October 6, 2025

Redshirt's Dirt Bungles contingent may challenge Milly-waw-kay for Central Division domination for a while. The Best Fans in Based Balls should be paying attention. Same for the Small Bears. Congrats, Redshirt. Its not the Cardinals or Cubs, no problem here. Not to worry about the Dirt Stillers, though. Bob Nutting's smothering

Queries for EPL Opening Weekend

King Hippo - August 16, 2025August 15, 2025

194

Welcome to the much-needed resumption of festivities. Please try to control one's excitement, or at least cover one's tumescence. Villa and the Barcodes kick us off early (7:30, USA), and these two have each had a mighty tough summer. Isak is the straw that stirs Newcastle's drink, and he's thrown his

EFL Just Not Prem Opening Weekend

King Hippo - August 9, 2025August 7, 2025

157

For those of y'all as starved for sportsball as Hippo? Find CBSSN on your cable box and maybe even dust off Paramount+ on your tablet, because the divisions below the Premiership (as is also the case in many/most other European nations). Enjoy the pageantry of the day, even if its

Wumbo Wednesday: About Last Night

Senor Weaselo - June 25, 2025June 25, 2025

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA suck it Cuomo. The real swaggy (presumptive heavy favorite for) mayor is a-comin'. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQVsVNPkPmE (Truly a disgusting scene. I mean, no shirt under his apron? That's a clear health code violation!) Also fun from last night's show: It was some sort of kid-related company, so the singers before the finale were just

Wrapping Up English Footy 2024-25

King Hippo - May 24, 2025May 24, 2025

154

All good things must come to end. So too, mediocrities like the 2024-25 season. But first and foremost, congrats to 2pack and Marika, as Napoli won at home yesterday, pipping Inter to the Serie A title by a single, solitary point. Enjoy those celebrations, Naples and environs. Today, we learn the identity

Dante Hicks Tribute Carpenter Jorb

WCS - January 28, 2025January 28, 2025

Allegheny County 9-1-1, what's the address--- oh, so(u)rry. Force of habit and whatnot. Actually, if yinz didn't know, there's a pre-recorded bump of that message so we don't shred our vocal chords repeating it dozens of times a day. There are many other phrases we repeat dozens of times of day

Saturday Opening Thread!

Mr. Ayo - December 14, 2024December 14, 2024

161

Good morning everyone! We have a big day ahead of us, I was told! Your local Hippo took a day off and assigned me to this spot. Which was great, because I was going to recap the F1 season that just concluded last week. Unfortunately, I've fallen quite ill over this

Elaborate Ways of Getting Kicked In The Dick – England at the 2024 Euros (A Tuesday Night Open Thread)

The Maestro - June 11, 2024June 11, 2024

I am ready to get hurt again. I mean it. There's nothing this team can do to me anymore to make me feel pain. I have seen absolutely everything go wrong for England's national football team in increasingly more aggravating, painful, and confounding ways over these last several decades. I have no

Lesser Week el Tres, JV NFL Week Nil Open Thread

King Hippo - August 26, 2023August 25, 2023

132

Apparently, 26 August is National Blow Notre Dame Day (congratulations to those who celebrate). Not much other excuse for them playing bad-even-for-their-recent-history Naval Academy crew...with essentially the ENTIRE slate to themselves. Seriously, this is absolute monkey feces. But I get ahead of myself, we have good Premiership action first. Cherries host Spurs