A Night at the Opera: BOLTMANIAN RHAPSODY

♫ Set to the music of “Bohemian Rhapsody” from Queen ♫ FANS: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a cash grab, One escape from re-al-ity. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see… DEAN SPANOS: I'm such a rich boy, I want your sympathy, Because Dad-dy came, I will go, Pretty high; lots of

Important Trump News

Being the president is hard, you guys.  An unqualified moron can't actually do it.  This has been breaking Trump news. http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/donald-trump-challenges-governing-presidency-234879 Read this and laugh/weep.

Request Line: Normal at Heart

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – EVENING Open on an empty studio.  The door opens and GARY KUBIAK and a PRODUCER step through, chatting happily.  GARY KUBIAK takes a seat at the booth. PRODUCER: ...and I'll be in here with you for the interview segment, and then I'll head out to the other side of

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 68)

The scene: The dark, dank dungeon of the Castle of Death, where the DFOers are being held prisoner. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van, Covalent Blonde, Low Commander and Otto's Brain are in a cell, as are their newfound luchador friends Señor Weaselo and La Araña Discoteca, after having been captured by

Your “Welcome To Day 4 – ‘It Can’t Stay the Same, Can It?’” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Hi, my name is Beerguy, and I'd like to talk with you about that pit you feel in your stomach. Or maybe it's in your heart. Well, it can't be your head, because you're an NFL fan, and Roger Goodell doesn't believe in brain trauma. Often times, people lose interest in things

Post-Super Bowl Free Ballin’ Football Blog and Free Ballin’s Offseason Plans

What’s up, Gen Pop, it’s Bill from the Free Ballin’ Football Collective? We unfortunately don’t have a post-Super Bowl podcast for you this week. Frankly, the four of us are exhausted from having to listen to our Patriots fan friends scream “YOU HATE US CUZ YOU AIN’T US” over text

25 Questions about the NFL from a former NFL fan

As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you a list of questions that I, an uninformed and easily distracted newly-former NFL fan, had after the Superb Owl:   1- Do you think Giselle goes this crazy after she

Your “Welcome To Day 3 – Bargaining With Bargaining” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Hi, my name's Beerguy, and I'd like to talk with you about the future. Super Bowl LI(cked) is in the book, so it's time to start looking forward to next season. If you're like me, your team didn't win, and that's okay. It's okay because your team has learned from its mistakes,

IMPORTANT DFO ANNOUNCEMENT

Door Flies Open will be unavailable for a few hours tonight for server maintenance.  I know that we all need it for dick jokes and such, but it should only be down an hour or two at the most.  The outage will start at roughly 12:30 a.m. DFO Time (Central).