Nobody’s Chargers 2024 Season Preview: Payin’ for it

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 4, 2024September 5, 2024

INTERIOR – CHARGERS PRACTICE FACILITY BOARD ROOM, COSTA MESA, CA – MORNING, SEVEN MONTHS AGO DEAN SPANOS: [On the phone] Look, John, it's just like my Daddy used to say, "if the city won't pay, fuck 'em and move!" [Laughs too hard] [Garbled phone response] DEAN: Right?! That place is an absolute dump anyway.

Nobody’s Chargers 2023 Season Preview: The Happiest Place

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - August 31, 2023

INTERIOR – DISNEYLAND PARKING LOT, ANAHEIM, CA – MORNING JUSTIN HERBERT: Oh boy oh boy! I'm so excited to finally get that authentic Hollywood experience! Somewhere where I can be just like all the locals! I can't wait to try Wolfgang Puck's for lunch! [Looks around the otherwise empty parking lot with

Guttersnipe

BC Dick - November 1, 2022November 1, 2022

I woke up naked in a hotel room on Sunday morning covered in milk. There was nary a carton in sight. It was a hell of a Halloween party. After a mind-numbingly dull week of work the chance to let loose and drink in the joy of the season was greatly

Guttersnipe

BC Dick - September 27, 2022September 25, 2022

Today I have a tale of minimal importance. No, that’s not right. There is no import to speak of here. Certainly not the beer. $8 at least for an American “pint” they make on-site. It’s almost criminal. I digress. My first year of league bowling started last week at the finest

Instant Hippo Mind-Go-Splodey

King Hippo - January 24, 2022January 23, 2022

What the absolute fuck am I supposed to say about THAT?? I guess one could say we saw ONE guy break an all-time record. Bills WR4 Gabriel Davis, first player in NFL history to catch 4 TD passes in a playoff game. 2 of those 4 came in the last 2:00

A Very Special Footballing 9/11 Thread

King Hippo - September 11, 2021September 10, 2021

241

Guten morgen, y'all. I hope Santa brought everyone what they wanted this year. 20 years is apparently the fuckloads of leftover Murrikan high-tech weaponry aanniversary. NEVAR stop learnin! Lesser Footy comes back from its dumbass international break, with Spurs and rebuilding Palace leading things off (7:30, NBCSN). If early fixtures are

Weeeeeeeee’ve Got A Diamond…In JOE BIDEN! Saturday Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury - November 7, 2020November 7, 2020

254

Editor's Note: Balls did not write this. King Hippo did, but there was a scheduling error and this is our half-ass way of fixing it. Sue us in Federal Court, if you want. Yes, you can safely call him President-Elect Biden now. Sen. Kamala Harris will be the first woman (and

Imaginary Coach Loses Imaginary Job

Senor Weaselo - October 5, 2020

Or jobs, for that matter. Bill O'Brien is relieved of his duties for the Houston Football Team. Well, it's only about 9 months too late after blowing a 24-0 lead to the Chefs in the divisional round, but better late than never, I guess? Too bad the Te-xans (I think that's

An Old Friend Comes Home

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 25, 2020September 25, 2020

INTERIOR - SOFI STADIUM LOCKER ROOM, LOS ANGELES, CA - SUNDAY AFTERNOON [LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN] DR. DAVID CHAO: [Visibly stumbling] HI [hic] EVERYSSBODYSSS! [The locker room is empty and offers no response] DR. DAVID CHAO: Oh, a little [hic] alonesh time for the [hic] Doctor and hsssh patient! [Pulls out flask and

Nobody’s Chargers 2020 Season Preview: No Control

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 10, 2020September 10, 2020

INTERIOR – NONDESCRIPT DOMICILE, CARSON, CA – EVENING [A MAN sits alone on a couch in his living room, completely fixated on the TV in front of him, despite the fact that nothing particularly interesting is on it. His gaze is so intent, that he hardly blinks and certainly doesn't hear

Dead Sexy Friday: A tWBS Tribute

ballsofsteelandfury - May 22, 2020May 22, 2020

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As you all know from Don T's Wednesday post, the man we all knew as tWBS passed away on Monday. FWIW, as he would write, it seems he passed away in his sleep without suffering. So, that's something. Many of us got to know him in real life and we're lucky

Screw It, I’m Quittin – The 2019 Indianapolis Colts On Bye

SonOfSpam - October 9, 2019October 7, 2019

In retrospect, it may not have been wise to make the 2019 Indianapolis Colts Preview post all about Andrew Luck. Just before the season started, Andrew's agent gave Jim Irsay the Sister Christian treatment; e.g., "You know that boy don't wanna play no more with you...it's true." MOTORIN WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR Sorry.