![Image originally found at [https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/d3kAAOSwNehi9wCW/s-l400.jpg]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/babyclothes.jpg)
Dear forthcoming child, With so much to do to prepare for your mid-November arrival, I wanted to take a few minutes to write down some fatherly advice to share with you. You may never end up reading this - in fact, staying off the internet outright is probably going to improve
Unsolicited Advice
Perfection: Mercury Morris will cry after reading your ’24 Dolphins Preview
Dolllllllllllphinnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssss! Hey fellow DFOers! I apologize for the lateness of this post, and my overall disappearance. You see, Bill Belicheck was just a few wins away from breaking Coach Shula's all-time win record (Peace Be upon him) and I knew I had to act before it was too late. So, I
Balls metaphorically shoots Franz Ferdinand
I write this fully knowing the consequences. I apologize in advance for the blood about to be shed. However, I've held my tongue long enough. I'm only doing this for the good of society. Here goes: Girl Scout Cookies are tasteless saturated fat guilt bombs that prey on the weak and
By Popular Demand: College Football Realignment
Wednesday Motivational: Listening
Wednesday Motivational: Apologies
When I’m at peak misanthropy, I wonder about all the importance given to apologies. Nobody’s perfect, everyone says. It’s an accepted truth, such as “people make mistakes”, “shit happens”, “I’m a Gemini”, and other gems of exculpation. And sure, admitting being wrong is a big ask: Who the hell wants to
Wednesday Motivational: Try Again
Wednesday Motivational: Appreciate, Reflect, Repeat.
Good morning, folks. I’m stepping in for tWBS in writing this Motivational because he’s still dead. Three years… Wow. Luv ya man [pours black coffee over kitchen ants]. I think about tWBS at least weekly, on account of his commitment to post something positive every Wednesday, even when he didn't want
Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo Presents the [Door Flies Open] 2023 Guide to Fantasy Football Names!
Long-winded? Yes. Self-explanatory? Also yes. Will I still explain it? Third yes. Welcome to a longstanding tradition passed down the years through various websites that we have cared to frequent. It's your guide to fantasy football names! I'm your host, Senor Weaselo. A good fantasy football team name has many things. Humor,
