The English: Are They Human? Case Study 1: The Hartlepool Monkey Hangers

The Maestro - August 27, 2020September 12, 2020

Welcome to The Maestro's newest series! Over the next few months, we're going to be following in the footsteps of famed Dutch sociologist G.J. Renier, a brilliant man who tried, and failed, to understand English society and its myriad peculiarities and ridiculousness. Of all the nations in the world, I

Marty Mornhinweg’s Wacky Weapons: The Sizaire-Berwick Wind Wagon

The Maestro - January 31, 2019December 30, 2018

You notice how the Super Bowl is basically never held in cold weather these days? Either they put it in a dome, or else it ends up somewhere in the South where they don't have to worry about cold weather. That's kind of a shame, if you ask me. I

The Wait is Over: BEL-ENG, World Cup 3rd Place Open Thread

Don T - July 14, 2018July 13, 2018

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The World Cup third place match is also known as the Losers’ Final. It’s a charmless assessment, but the consensus around the game seems to be “Why even play it”. Sure, the stakes are placing 3rd or 4th, but bitching about playing (or watching) the game has to be First

World Cup Previews: England

The Maestro - June 7, 2018June 5, 2018

I'm fully prepared for disappointment once again as a fan of England football; however, at least this year's edition of failure might well come with a slight dash of hope beforehand this time. The 2014 World Cup was one of the worst outings ever for the national team; a single point

Coach Carroll’s Weird Mysteries: The Reincarnation of Omm Sety

The Maestro - February 22, 2018February 19, 2018

Oh, men. MEN. I took a trip with Coach Ryan this past week; he seemed intent on going somewhere where he could walk barefoot without having to worry about stepping on anything, so we ended up in Egypt. And hot DAMN, did I ever find a strange one this past

Historical Badasses: Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck

Historical Badasses

The Maestro - April 27, 2017April 27, 2017

I've done a lot of reading on the First World War as of late; one of the more recent discoveries from my Wikipedia rabbit-holes is that there was, as it turns out, a pretty significant amount of fighting between the Germans and the British in Africa starting in 1914. With

Historical Badasses: Klondike Joe Boyle

Historical Badasses

The Maestro - April 6, 2017April 6, 2017

As a Canadian, I spent a lot of time learning about the Gold Rush in middle school history class; as a sports fan, I read about the early days of professional hockey as a young child. Little did I know that one of the men responsible for bringing one of

Historical Badasses: Moondyne Joe

Historical Badasses

The Maestro - March 9, 2017March 8, 2017

In Australia, everything can kill you. From the animals, to the plants, to the very ground itself, there's danger aplenty on the entire continent. The earliest settlers had to be 1) fearless, 2) crazy or 3) extremely unlucky in order to end up on the island in the first place;

Your “Iceland gets a bye, right?” Monday Morning Open Thread

DFOing Good

Wakezilla - June 27, 2016June 27, 2016

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Before I begin, I just wanted to complain about how hot it is in my apartment. When the sun sets, it's facing my apartment windows making my apartment from 8PM onwards hot as balls. It's almost midnight here and it's 28 Celsius (that's 82.4 Fahrenheit). The heat just sits in

Euro 2016 Preview – England

The Maestro - June 2, 2016June 2, 2016

If there's one thing that English football fans know, it's disappointment. The 2014 World Cup was one of the worst outings ever for the national team; a single point in a scoreless draw to Costa Rica and losses to Italy and Uruguay. It was bad. Very, very bad. Frank Lampard and Steven

This Week In Violence! Presents The Eton Wall Game

The Maestro - May 13, 2016

My father went to private school. I did not. It's a completely foreign environment to me, particularly now as a public school teacher. One thing I do know about private school, however, beyond the stereotypical throwback uniforms, strict rules, and such, is that many have incredibly long-running traditions that are

This Week In Violence! Presents Shin-Kicking

The Maestro - April 15, 2016April 15, 2016

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I'll never forget the chemistry prof I had for the one science class I was required to take in my freshman year of college. "Yes, I'm from Wales. Where men are men, and sheep are nervous." I never did particularly well in that class, but I did enjoy coming to lectures. That