Hastily Assembled Much-Needed Mid-Season Hiatus, or, New York Jets at the Bye

(This is a collaborative effort between entropy and Senor Weaselo. We blame any and all errors on theweebabySeamus) The interior of a network executive's office, location undetermined, as all the window shades are drawn. The NETWORK EXECUTIVE is staring expectantly at the man in the first guest chair, who is hunched