Author: The Maestro

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
5

So a lot of things coming up ahead this week. Cowboys have ditched Doopy Pantz for Matt Cassel, the Bears play the Lions to figure out who sucks worse, Aaron Rodgers gets to continue his reign of terror against a Chargers team that got gut-punched by Le'Veon Bell on Monday...

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
16

So we kicked off Week 5 last night with a 40-year-old Matt Hasselbeck in pants-shitting agony, somehow getting enough energy to overcome a bacterial infection he'd been in the hospital for just two days earlier, throwing for 2 TDs and spearheading the Colts to beating the hapless Houston Texans. So

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro -
29

Week 4 begins tomorrow, and everyone's favorite team to hate, the New England Patriots, head into their bye week sporting a perfect 3-0 record. Not only have they managed to look good in the process of wins over Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Jacksonville, they've managed to enrage both Roger Goodell and

Start or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
11

OK, Week 3 gearing up, and once again, work sucks, your lives are a mess, and the NFC East remains a radioactive clusterfuck. Some things never change, really! This is gonna be another short mailbag this week, because we seem to have a lack of #content being submitted to fill these

In Which We Rank Athletes From Other Sports At Their Potential Ability to Play Football

The Maestro -
61

OK, Thursday night. REAL LIFE ACTUAL HONEST-TO-GOD PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL THAT'S NOT THE CFL. Less than 12 hours until all our hopes and dreams are fulfilled from now until the end of February! However, in the meantime until the pissed-off Patriots run roughshod tonight over a Steelers team missing key contributors in

In Which We Rank The Best Food And Alcohol Pairing Combos

All the worst things in life for you always taste the best.
The Maestro -
28

We did it! We survived! College football is back! The NFL preseason is over! It was a long, hot summer, but football is here, and like you, I can’t wait to get fat and wasted sitting in front of my TV for hours on end this fall. As such, besides