Assholes

An Appreciation of Violence – 16 November 2019 Morning/JV NFL Open Thread

King Hippo -
194

Yes, Thursday night was universal "shit on #ThePauls" night.  It's being noted, but only in passing, that Mason Rudolph tried repeatedly to corkscrew Myles Garrett's helmet off FIRST.  What followed demonstrated the unwise nature of "poking the bear" - but only Garrett and uber-coward Pouncey get the suspensions.  Dopey-ass Mason had the

CrimeBeat!: An Existential Quandre Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
6

It's that time again- time to examine the biggest NFL felonies (real or metaphorical) of the last couple of days weeks (gimme a break, new fatherhood is a bitch). It's CrimeBeat! and you will listen to EVERY LAST WORD I SAY! ACCUSED: Corbyn Nyemah CHARGE: Attempted Home Invasion, Property Damage, Cuckoldry Who is

A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good Insults To Shout At G/O Media Types On The Street

WhyEaglesWhy -
33

"If you need to dress up as a nurse to get laid that’s on you, not me!" “It’s all your fault, dickhead!”  "You cock slapping shit-for-brains!" "Eli Manning!" "You fat American moron!" "With regards to nudity: no!" "I thought you were in Hell!” "I guess we’ll find out which one of us has got more luck in

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week Eight

ballsofsteelandfury -
24

Welcome back! Last night, we got the still-undefeated San Francisco 49ers going against the Arizona Cardinals in Phoenix. This meant that the "home" crowd had a healthy mix of away fans and people in town with nothing to do. It was a good game for a bit and then

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week Eight

ballsofsteelandfury -
10

Welcome back! Last night, we got a weird oddball matchup of the Washington American Football team versus the Vikings. I don't think I can remember any memorable matchups between these two teams in the past. We had to watch football because baseball is taking a break after the Washington

Cleveland’s Not Yet N Sync: Ain’t No Lie, Browns At Bye

SonOfSpam -
12

Remember when everyone thought the Browns would be good this year? That was adorable. They are 2-4 at their bye, and Baker Mayfield kinda sucks, and David Njoku broke something, and Nick Chubb still has a name that makes me giggle. Their coach is this random DUI mugshot: Still kinda laughing about Chubb. Anyway, the

Your Yinzer Injury Report 2019

WCS -
7

Oh, I’m told this the Bye Week update? Screw that, title still stands. THE BENS TEEM HAS LOTS OF OWIES IN ALL OVER BODYSPOT This team had serious question marks to start this season, and like 908% of the offense has gotten hurt since the opening kick-off to start the season. 2-4

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week Seven

ballsofsteelandfury -
2

Welcome back! Last night, we got a classic AFC West battle between the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs. On Fox. I still find it weird when the conference TV alliances are ignored and we get these AFC games on the NFC network and the NFC games on the

MOST GLORIOUS EL BEISBOL CARDINALS (and some NFL thing) Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
327

That's right, kids- Uncle Scotchy is...indisposed for the evening. Some people just can't hold their chloroform. WHICH MEANS that Ol' Reverend Mayhem is driving the train tonight, and he's all hopped up on the Halloween candy Dr. Mrs. Mayhem bought and tried to stash away. CAN'T HIDE THE REESE'S FROM ME,

Wangs of New York: Your 2019 Buffalo Bills Bye Week Bonanza

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
8

[Interior. Press Room at the Meadowlands. JOSH ALLEN is at the podium, answering questions after beating the New York "Football" "Giants".] ANONYMOUS PR FLACK: Ok guys, we've got time for one more question. SNOTTYASS MOTHERFUCKING REPORTER FOR THE NEW YORK POST OR SOME SHIT: There's a chance you could have ended up