Huh…..: Your San Francisco 49ers Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 25, 2019September 25, 2019

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!??!?!? YES!!!! Friends, I have preached before at interminable length about how we live in The New Time of Wonders. Now BLEERGH!, Shan'khlor and the other Elderly Gods have seen fit to show us another Sign and Portent. Yes, it is Week 4, and Jimmy Garoppolo's bones and tendons

Way Too Many Words on the Jets at the Bye: A Jets at the Bye Post

Senor Weaselo - September 24, 2019September 23, 2019

Can I count those as way too many words? I mean I'll ramble to get to the minimum because this is me. Hmm, what to say considering I've watched about one half of Jets football. The Jets decided to take a page from the most successful team in New York, the

CrimeBeat!: Blind Squirrel Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 20, 2019

What a long, strange trip it's been for Antonio Brown in New England. They've laughed. They've cried. They've grumbled. Yes, Antonio Brown's lengthy tenure with Patriots has come to an abrupt and in-no-way-foreseeable end. Massholes, Junior Massholes from New Hampshire/Maine/Rhode Island and various band-wagoners will look back fondly on all the

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week Three

ballsofsteelandfury - September 20, 2019September 21, 2019

Welcome back! Last night we had the Prototypical Thursday Night Football game. The one. The only. It could only be the Jacksonville Jaguars vs the Tennessee Titans. The game no one wants to watch on Thursday Night. For those of you that stayed up with us

A Modest Proposal for the Miami Dolphins

Wakezilla - September 19, 2019September 19, 2019

"Hey Wakey, did you catch the Dolphins game?" a friend on Facebook will ask me, presumably with a shit eating grin on their face because they saw on the sports ticker that Miami lost their second straight game by over 6 touchdowns. For the second straight week, I will have answered

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week Two

ballsofsteelandfury - September 13, 2019September 12, 2019

Welcome back! Like the swallows to San Juan Capistrano, we return each year in the hope that Thursday Night Football will be better. Last night we got the Carolina Panthers against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a NFC South showdown that was delayed by lightning, degenerated into a political

Balls on ASSignment: Thursday Night Football Review Week One

ballsofsteelandfury - September 6, 2019September 6, 2019

So, that was a game last night, wasn't it? Contrary to popular opinion, that was a real football game that counted in the standings and not just another pre-season game that season-ticket holders were forced to pay full price for. For those of you that stayed up with us and

Pissing Up God’s Flagpole: Your 2019 Detroit Lions Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 4, 2019September 4, 2019

[Author's Note: So this is it. The End. The final preview before the NFL meat grinder spins up to turn convert the bodies of healthy(ish) young men into Entertainment. Après moi le déluge de merde. Get hype.] Wyandotte. Shit. I'm only in Wyandotte. Every time, I think I'm going to wake up back in Midtown.... Everyone

Your “We Should All Be So Lucky” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - August 26, 2019August 26, 2019

NFL Nuggets: Andrew Luck updates: The Colts are letting him keep his bonus money from the last contract signing. It amounts to $16.8 million, since he had three years left on the five-year extension he signed in 2016. There are rumours that Jim Irsay has known for a (little) while

Your “Perhaps Lesser Footy is better than Greater Footy after all” Thread

Wakezilla - August 24, 2019

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Good morning everyone! By the time this post airs, your pal Wakezilla will be up and atom, off on his vacation to Portland, Oregon, followed by staying in a cabin at CanNon Beach (Oregon's coast). Jesus, I have never deserved a vacation more than this year. I got promoted in April

No One’s Chargers 2019 Preview: Top Bolt

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - August 23, 2019August 23, 2019

INTERIOR - CHARGERS WAR ROOM, MIRA MAR, CA - MIDDAY MAJ. TOM TELESCO: [Walking in] Good morning Tony. COMM. ANTHONY LYNN: Morning Tom. RADIO: Ghost Audience, we have an unknown aircraft entering our airspace. Vector 405 for bogey. TELESCO: Who's up there? LYNN: Rivers, Gordon, Bosa and Allen. EXTERIOR - THE SKIES ABOVE SAN DIEGO COUNTY CAPT. RIVERS: YOU BETTER ASK SOMEBODDDDDYYYYYY

Tripping Over The Light Fantastic; or A Desperate Plié: Your All-Dancing 2019 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 15, 2019August 15, 2019

[Author's Note: As promised/threatened, this year's Buffalo Bills Season Preview will be conducted in the medium of interpretive dance. Yes, I know it's particularly inappropriate for Buffalo, which has no cheerleaders but a thriving post-angioplasty community. Expand your minds and get some culture, you barbarian savages.] Your 2018 Buffalo Bills: 6-10,