Curse Yeeeewwww, International Breaks (and White Male Privilege) Open Thread

King Hippo - October 10, 2020October 9, 2020

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I still stand by my decision to turn the teevee off Thursday night. But, oh how I enjoyed some Friday morning schadenfreude. Yeah, the "uber-smart" G.O.A.T. (Fucker)...forgot what down it was during the final, failed drive. But what that funny little moment really did, to my mind? Illustrate the insidiousness of

Imaginary Coach Loses Imaginary Job

Senor Weaselo - October 5, 2020

Or jobs, for that matter. Bill O'Brien is relieved of his duties for the Houston Football Team. Well, it's only about 9 months too late after blowing a 24-0 lead to the Chefs in the divisional round, but better late than never, I guess? Too bad the Te-xans (I think that's

Football’s Sh***iest Cosplay: Your 2020 Detroit Lions Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 4, 2020September 4, 2020

Hot Taek: The Detroit Lions are perhaps the most consistently DFO Team in the league. Why? Schadenfreude. They jettisoned Jim Caldwell for the sin of going 9-7 in consecutive years. At that point, they hired Matt Patricia from the Patriots. Bob Quinn had been hired from the Greatriots in 2016 and

Sabado Already?? Open Thread

King Hippo - August 29, 2020August 28, 2020

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Jeebus, how time flies when...you alternate between taking naps and sweating like a Black man in an Alabama court. Oh, and my office in downtown Raleigh shut down at 3p yesterday, and they forbade anyone from going in over the weekend. Seems like some organized violence is going down. You watch, THIS

Stand For The Anthem, Lie Down For The Ventilator: Your 2020 Dallas Cowboys Preview

Horatio Cornblower - August 26, 2020August 26, 2020

I intended to praise Jerry Jones for his work in this year's draft, albeit work that he undoubtedly had a lot of help with while working the phones from his supervillain yacht. And he did deserve that praise; while it's foolish to grade drafts in their immediate aftermath, based on

And To Celebrate, We’re Having Ribs: Your 2020 Reigning, Defending, Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs Preview

Horatio Cornblower - August 24, 2020August 22, 2020

Last year I agreed to do the Chiefs preview, since apparently none of us here in the clubhouse root for the Chiefs, other than in the so far vain hope that Chiefs success will lure Otto back into the fold from whatever witness protection program he wandered into after failing

A Feast of Crow: 2020 San Francisco 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 19, 2020August 18, 2020

Longtime readers know that I have gone on at interminable length regarding my semi-papal near-infallibility. I am almost never wrong, and it drives Dr. Mrs. Mayhem fucking insane. But God has no place on the West Coast. The 6-10 49ers actually went 13-3. Trip to the Super Bowl. Fuckit. I do feel

I Can See Cleeeeeaarrrly Now, Tom Braaaaady’s Gone: 2020 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 17, 2020August 17, 2020

[Author's Note: Despite the overwhelmingly positive response to last year's All Interpretive Dance team preview, I have decided not to go back to that well a second year in a row. Try to contain your disappointment.] So here it is. It's finally happening. Like Christmas morning, high school graduation and losing

The Burning Stream: Your 2020 Cleveland Browns Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 12, 2020August 12, 2020

Cleveland, Ohio is a wonderful city, bursting with many shining examples of culture, fine dining and friendly people. Every single word of that sentence is a filthy lie, except for "Cleveland," "Ohio" and "City." And frankly, "city" is being generous. I would have gone with "penal colony," except that usually requires

Paging Rob Manfred, Galactical Disgrace

King Hippo - August 1, 2020July 31, 2020

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Please consult with the infinite wisdom of Chuck D: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wOcOBjB3uU I swear to holy tittyfuck, it's like Manfred's raison d'être is to make The Shield look sane, humane, and competent. Eat shit, you boot licking motherfucker. In better/Lesser news, our beloved Mighty Whitey survive and advance to face the Bees (nae Moose Hornets)