The Bastard Review

pickettschargeksk - September 18, 2015September 18, 2015

The two-hour pilot to Kurt Sutter's new FX series The Bastard Executioner is, among other things, a prime example of the difficulty inherent in making a good pilot. All pilots tempt their writers toward exposition, and the bigger the story the writer wants to tell, the greater the temptation. Few can resist,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 4)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 18, 2015June 14, 2016

Scene: An interrogation room in the City's Police Department. A member of the DFO sits in a chair as the department's Hard-boiled Detective grills him. Hard-boiled Detective: Look, buddy, you can play the tough guy all you want, but you're not walking out that door until I get some answers. DFO

Football Talk From A Stand Up Comedian

SonOfSpam - September 16, 2015September 15, 2015

Emcee: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to the Laff Hole! You guys ready to have some fun? You look like a great crowd! Except this guy, right? He knows what's up. Hey, where you from Romeo? Guy Wearing A Wrinkled Polo Shirt: Uh, like, a few miles away. Emcee: (pregnant pause) Emcee: Wow, you

Hard Ride to Nowhere (Chapter 3)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 11, 2015June 14, 2016

Scene: The Platinum International Gym. Horatio Cornblower sits out front in a Lotus position, meditating, a bandage on his wrist. Like others who are elite among the DFO, he wears his original "KSK" patch. Horatio Cornblower: Ohm...ohm... Just then OSZ comes peddling up the drive, with Covalent Blonde on the handlebars of

Hard Ride to Nowhere (Chapter 2)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 4, 2015June 14, 2016

Scene: The DFO clubhouse, where anxious prospect PK, notepad in hand, is asking DFO member Covalent Blonde what this patch means: Covalent Blonde slaps the notepad out of PK's hand. Covalent Blonde: Get a God Damn Snack! PK scurries off to the kitchen, where he can be heard rooting through the refrigerator. [DOOR

Your Last Damn Pre-season Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 3, 2015September 2, 2015

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Think of this evening, the one where the 4th running back on your team tries to beat off the fifth fella, as the scorched brussel sprouts (really gran? for the 29th year in a row you didn't cook them in bacon like everyone loves? god!) that you have to force

Nine Circles of Leasts – Preseason Week 3

Duchess - September 3, 2015September 3, 2015

I apologize for the tardiness. I forgot to plug-in my phone and overslept. First Circle (Limbo) – Randall Cobb's shoulder - As a Bears fan I wish Cobb a long... very long slow recovery. I would like to remind him that his health is more important than trying to rush back

DFO Late Night / International Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury - August 29, 2015August 29, 2015

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It looks like we're getting the hang of this thing! Kudos to Moose and the gang for some brilliant stuff last night. Today, we had the closest we will get to actual football as starters played the most they will play during the preseason. Plus the bonus of more injuries to

Hard Ride to Nowhere (Chapter 1)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 28, 2015June 14, 2016

Scene: F.B.I. Headquarters. Inside several agents are meeting with local law enforcement about a new gang taking the country by storm. FBI Director: So, men, tell me what you've got on these...what are their names again? Agent #1: Door Flies Open, sir. We have no idea what it means. Agent #2: But we

Request Line: Closernerdness with Peter King

Cuntler - August 21, 2015August 21, 2015

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Editors' Note: This week, we asked noted Coldplay, U2, and Bruce Springsteen enthusiast Peter King to help us introduce the request line by selecting songs he would use if he were an MLB closer. We are truly sorry. With all of the interesting NFL going-ons right now -- the robbery of a 7-11 by a

THIS WEEK IN F**K YOU: THE FAT JEWISH

trollsoharduniversity - August 16, 2015

In case you're wondering, this is how you properly attribute something funny you find on the internet. Thanks for the funny picture Starcasm Some of you may follow Josh Ostrovsky on various social media outlets. He's best known as The Fat Jewish or The Fat Jew. Some have even gone so