Ghosts in the Machine Saturday Morning Thread

King Hippo - May 14, 2022May 13, 2022

No Prem matches today. Fookin' seriously - NONE. There is a Cup final at Wembley, but I ain't got no time for that. You do get a tasty Championship promotion playoff, with Team Knifey hosting the Robins Hood (10:00, ESPN+). These always fascinate me, when a neutral. Though I think it

Praise, Thanks, and Apology to Slippy G Night Thread

King Hippo - May 7, 2022May 7, 2022

As it turns out, Villa manager (and ex-Redshite "legend") Steven Gerrard didn't let Team White Lives Matter win, just to fuck over my Toffees. He was a good sportsman, and Hippo apologizes accordingly. 3-1 win could provide breathing space if Everton take a point tomorrow (and Leeds lose). For the record,

Buttholes Extra Puckered Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - May 7, 2022May 5, 2022

I am writing this on Thursday, 5 May - since I will be away from my 'puter almost all of Friday. Thank fuck Everton aren't playing. I am tense enough as is. Oldest HippoSpawn graduates university. I am proud of her, so I will go. I will make no emotional displays,

Lesser and Draftmas Combo Platter

King Hippo - April 30, 2022April 29, 2022

Oh man, such a contrast between watching the machinations of my two great loves. Donks WOO!!! draft following is just plain, relaxing fun. I know they won't, say, trade up and draft Noted Local Moe-ron Sam Howell. Because we gots Russell Wilson. I don't have to sweat making reach picks, because we

Saturday “All Aboard the Sinking Ship” Morning Thread

King Hippo - April 23, 2022April 22, 2022

I apologize in advance for tomorrow. I will go missing all day, and there will be no Derby of Ultimate Despair live blog. Because I hate those fucking thundercunts so very much that I can't even bear to watch the mauling. Hope for Premier League survival is fading, but there's still

Hippo’s Mid-week Waking Nightmare (part el tres)

King Hippo - April 20, 2022April 20, 2022

Please to keep your hands inside the car at all times. You don't want to acquire the nickname "Stumpy." (this opener accompanied a winner, and I am superstitious as fuck) As during the last two Bitter Blue torture sessions, I will add my instant reactions as the match progresses (with time

Half-Schedule Weekend – Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - April 16, 2022April 15, 2022

124

This is the part of the Lesser schedule when the cup ties start flying fast and furious, and with MOAR at stake. You saw a truly heroic effort by rockingdog's Chelski squadron mid-week, but the Real Cuntfaces got off the mat and advanced. Kings of Shithousery Atleti (meant mostly as

BattleBots Beat: Your 2021 Champion…

Senor Weaselo - April 14, 2022April 14, 2022

Eight bots remain. Some standbys, some surprises. The main surprises would be who's out, actually. With Tombstone and End Game both out of the tournament, and Paul Ventimiglia still holding out on behalf of better compensation for builders, we will have a first-time champion. So, let's get to the fights. 4.

Welcome BACK To Hippo’s Nightmare Live Blogging

King Hippo - April 9, 2022April 9, 2022

150

Please to keep your hands inside the car at all times. You don't want to acquire the nickname "Stumpy." As during mid-week's torture session, I will add my instant reactions as the match progresses (with time stamps) in the body of the post. I used to regularly live blog NC State

Flacco to the Finish: Your BattleBots Beat and Thursday Evening BattleBots Championship Open Thread

Senor Weaselo - April 7, 2022April 7, 2022

Welcome back to the Beat! When last we left off, 16 robots had fought through the first round (and for some, a play-in). Half that field moves onto tonight, which is the season finale and championship. (Until we get confirmation of when Bounty Hunters happens.) Onto the fights! 5. Uppercut vs.

A Tradition Unlike Any Other (Ugh) Now, Post-Plague and Sort of Updated! Without Commets from Years Ago!

WCS - April 7, 2022

Hello, friends. It's a tradition unlike any other. It's The Masters. I'm Jim Nantz, and it's my distinct pleasure to bring you one of the great events in all of sports. It's Augusta National Golf Club, the Mecca of professional golf. The pride, the heritage, the racial purity. Yes, The Masters embodies

Spare Us The Qatar! – World Cup Draw Roundtable

King Hippo - April 2, 2022April 2, 2022

101

Are you ready for some desert football? Because you'll soon be getting it. Before all that, a reminder that the Prem is back this morning, but feel free to sleep in. The 7:00 fixture is going to make the Final Four seem fellatio-free. Bees/Chelski is in the barrel at 10:00 (USA),