Balls on…The College Football Playoff

ballsofsteelandfury - December 31, 2019December 30, 2019

We just recently finished the semifinals and are eagerly awaiting the final and I don't think everyone is happy. This is where I usually come in. Let's just say the Balls-Signal went out. As usual, I will come in and either fix things or make them worse with everyone complaining about

Your “Slow Tuesday Before Xmas” Daytime Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus - December 17, 2019December 17, 2019

I drove to western North Carolina early this morning. Very early. And back. Pain in my ass but it had to be done. Then I shipped moar hot peppers out to some folks (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!). But that's the end of them for this year. The peppers that is,

Balls on… Miss Universe

ballsofsteelandfury - December 16, 2019December 15, 2019

Some of you may have heard about the latest controversy surrounding the Miss Universe pageant and pageants in general. To be fair, the whole concept of a beauty pageant is, in my opinion, akin to the concept of a college football national champion being crowned by secret votes and

That’s Gonna Burn You

theeWeeBabySeamus - December 5, 2019December 5, 2019

As some of you already know, I have been growing hot peppers for the past several years. Some of you have "benefited" from my harvest. This year alone I've mailed out over 10 lbs of hot peppers (as well as some seeds). I still have about 3 lbs ripening and

Monday Night Open Thread: Barstow Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - June 24, 2019June 24, 2019

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Friends, it has come to this. We are On the Edge of the Desert, the annual Summer sports doldrums where finding non-baseball sports viewing becomes an increasingly desperate search for anything resembling competitive activity. "I'll be up to bed soon, honey- I need to see how this last round of

Copa América 2019 Team Preview: Brasil

ballsofsteelandfury - June 2, 2019May 26, 2019

As you all know by now, Brasil is the Land of the Ass. Please note that I will be spelling Brasil with the "s" and not the "z" because the country is called Brasil in its native language and it is also Brasil in Spanish. Where was I?

Sermon on the Mound

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - April 10, 2019April 10, 2019

Author's Note: This is a piece I started and stopped about a hundred times since last fall. All this is long past now. We're going to bury my grandfather on Sunday. He wasn't my "real" grandfather. That is to say, he wasn't the father (or stepfather) of either of my parents. He

Fun with Polls! Bob’s Burgers edition

ballsofsteelandfury - January 2, 2019December 29, 2018

So, I've decided to institute a new series for the new year. Coming hot On the heels of the fabulously successful Miss BumBum pageant poll, I've decided to mine the collective minds of the Commentist Party in search of the definitive answer to the vexing questions of our time. First up:

The 500s past the 500 mark. That means at least 3 things.

ballsofsteelandfury - November 6, 2018November 4, 2018

The 500s, officially known as the Houston Texans, are winning at an over .500 pace. Their record past the halfway (.500!) mark is either 5-4 or 6-3 depending on what happened when Demaryius Thomas met his ex-girlfriend. (Update: he didn't quite do as too many NFL players do in an elevator

Welcome New Commentists! Or, I have to do what now?

ballsofsteelandfury - September 6, 2018August 31, 2018

Hello new person! Last year, tWBS drew the short straw and did the introductory post to any of you that are just now discovering our little corner of the world. BTW, DFO is ranked in the 400,000s in terms of websites around the world, so that's... something! We do know we

The NFL Dating Game!

yeah right - May 7, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNJurbIDEpU Voice over: "It's time to play...The NFL Dating Game! Now Let's welcome the host of our show...The Ghost of Jim Lange!" [audience applause] Ghost of Jim Lange: "Hi Everybody! Welcome back to our show! We've got a great contestant lined up today and three handsome available NFL bachelors just waiting for their chance to

Your Lazy Saturday morning open thread

ballsofsteelandfury - March 24, 2018

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Man, there is really nothing to do today except workout, laundry, and sleep. Fuck tanning. If you want skin cancer, go for it. The soccer slate is relatively empty as all the leagues are off due to this weekend being a FIFA Friendly weekend and a ton of national teams are either