Your “DFO Super Bowl Hate Week Extra Day” Monday Evening and also Tuesday Morning Open Thread

Beerguyrob - February 6, 2017February 7, 2017

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2017 Fade in: Int. Buffalo Wild Wings, Wichita, KS, 9:30 pm. Patrons stare at the screen, in disbelief or joy at what they had just witnessed. Under the table Winston's feet made convulsive movements. He had not stirred from his seat, but in his mind he was running, swiftly running, he was with the crowds

That’s it.

ballsofsteelandfury - January 24, 2017January 23, 2017

Author's Note: I wrote this in the wee hours of Monday morning after being rightfully PISSED OFF about Sunday's game. I've sat on it and spent all of Monday trying to cool down and get some perspective. I'm re-reading it on Monday night to see if I want to take

CrimeBeat!: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!?! Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 15, 2016September 16, 2016

Brothers and sisters and those in between, I thank you for joining the DFO congregation on this glorious day. It is a day of hope. It is a day of slacking. It is a day for reflecting upon what depths of inebriation you sank to last weekend in order to

Your “THIS IS NOT A DRILL!-The Redux” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 11, 2016

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Although his powers of evil are completely capable of making it happen, not even RGshithead (that's Roger Goodell) would cancel six games. Right? (my glass is half full btw) So here we are-cheering for football itself, our fave teams and most importantly, NO INJURIES. This is who we are, folks.

Beauty, Longing, and a Hammock: My trip to Rio, the Land of The Asses

ballsofsteelandfury - August 3, 2016

Rio de Janeiro is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever been lucky enough to visit. Check that. The locale is the most beautiful place in the world in which to place a city. As my plane was landing oh so many years ago, all I could think

Camp Bodies

blaxabbath - August 1, 2016July 29, 2016

After just one weekend of training camp, Browns Executive Vice President of Football Operations, Sashi Brown, has called a 7:00 AM meeting with his top brass to address roster issues. In a late rambling text Sunday night text, he has made it clear that depth is a concern of both himself and Head

Offseason #Content: Brock or Mark

Offseason stories

blaxabbath - July 21, 2016

So let's get right to it. Brock Osweiler signed a 4-year, $72 million contract with the Houston Texans in March. Three days later, to fill the void in their quarterback depth chart (which included all of Trevor Siemian for a weekend), the Denver Broncos acquired Mark Sanchez from the Philadelphia Eagles for

CrimeBeat!: Better Never Than Late Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 12, 2016July 12, 2016

So yeah. In God's ongoing quest to drive me insane using ten thousand tiny frustrations, last week's best Crime News I Could Use came out an hour or so after I posted a disjointed bitchfest about how nothing good (for purposes of this column) had happened over the traditionally Target

CrimeBeat!: Anticlimax Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 5, 2016

Well fuckery. I mean, Fourth of July weekend is traditionally a feast for your everyday Pulp Sports Crime Writer, and not just because Uncle Rick and Aunt Rita made hot dogs AND ribs AND hot links AND italian beef AND that shitty Jello-mold thing. It's the perfect convergence of 1.

CrimeBeat!: Requiem for a Lightweight Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - June 21, 2016

It's 4 pm on an offseason Tuesday. Do you know where your tangentially-NFL-related crime stories are? THEY ARE RIGHT FUCKING HERE! LET YOUR CELEBRATIONS AND MERRY-MAKING COMMENCE! Once again, I find myself compelled to apologize to you, gentle reader, because you come to this site for The Funny, or at least the

Your “It’s All the 2004 Red Sox’s Fault” Monday Open Thread

Beerguyrob - June 20, 2016June 20, 2016

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NFL Notes: Vince Wilfork is talking about sticking around another couple of years. Good. John Fox violated the Ten Commandments & told a giant lie about Jay Cutler. Today's Acela Excreta was another guest column. God - I hope it's better than last week: School’s out for summer. Ugh. We covered that. Excellent

Offseason Diversions: Euro 2016 and Copa América Centenario Open POSTS and Thread

Don T - May 22, 2016May 22, 2016

Mandatory minicamps start by mid-June. In the meantime, IT’S THE EURO AND COPA CENTENARIO! The U.S.A is hosting the Copa and already teams are dissing the travel arrangements. Are you gonna take this from invading Peter Kings? Many are leftists. Or are WE, COMMENTISTS, GONNA POST SOMETHING ABOUT IT!1!1 As humans, the