Your “What? This Clown?!” Monday Open Thread

Evenin', y'all. Mom's on her plane, so it's back atcha with the north-of-the-border open thread topics. NFL News: Arian Foster landed in Miami. It's reportedly a one-year deal worth $1.5 million with $2 million in incentives. Justin Durant landed in Dallas, thanks to Rolando McLain's suspension. Even though it's most likely a

Hillary Clinton Gets a New Campaign Adviser

[BROOKLYN, NEW YORK: HILLARY CLINTON'S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS] ROBBY MOOK: ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed at the Costco on 118th Street. But enough about my day off! As your Campaign Manager, I want to be the first to congratulate you on officially being declared the presumptive nominee! HILLARY CLINTON: Thank you,

Your “Finally, It’s Over…OH GOD, NOW THE ACTUAL CAMPAIGN!” Tuesday Open Thread

Brief NFL briefs: Someone hacked the NFL's twitter account, and posted the news Patriots fans were waiting for. Bitterness remained after the truth came out. About the hack & Goodell not being dead - not deflated balls. That's still going on. 7 teams opened veteran minicamps today: The Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland

Offseason Diversions: Euro 2016 and Copa América Centenario Open POSTS and Thread

Mandatory minicamps start by mid-June. In the meantime, IT’S THE EURO AND COPA CENTENARIO! The U.S.A is hosting the Copa and already teams are dissing the travel arrangements. Are you gonna take this from invading Peter Kings? Many are leftists. Or are WE, COMMENTISTS, GONNA POST SOMETHING ABOUT IT!1!1 As humans, the

Your “Remember That Thing?” Wednesday Open Thread

I promise no more anti-Toronto ranting today. After hearing about the Cleveland face wash* they received, it's taken some of the air out of the bandwagon's tires. Not sure about tomorrow; check with me later.         *Shockingly, not a term found in the Urban Dictionary. Moose? The banner

A Friendly Conversation

  Operator: Greater Raleigh Telephone Operator Extension, how may I direct your call?….I see, yes sir, one moment please….(Phone Clicks)…Alright, you are connected to the video conference line to the Governor’s Office.   Governor Pat McCrory (R-North Carolina): Roger! Good morning and thank you for calling me back! What took you so long though? You out getting gang sacked by some of those

Your “I’ve Had Enough of This Crap!” Thursday Open Thread

Dear Lord! There’s another Republican debate tonight? From Detroit?! The Fox Theater?! On Fox News?! /checks cable package; relieved Fox News isn't listed //wishes Robocop was real ///ends up on FBI watch list   It might be fun to watch Megyn Kelly grind Trump's balls, if all those other chucklefucks weren't going to trip on

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

Because I am an idiot, I am planning on watching the Pro Bowl this weekend. Let's see: teams captained by... Devonta Freeman and Geno Atkins? And OBJ... and Aaron Donald? That's star power right there, folks. Can't wait to see John Kuhn and Latavius Murray catch a two-yard slant for a

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

With Fantasy Football now finished for the season (boooo), the Mailbag is now transitioning to that of a grab bag - your sex lives can still get plenty of attention, but anything goes for questions now! Sports! Violence! Inventions! Whatever ya got, it's all on the table here. So welcome back!

Dear NFL Network,

Seeing as you are televising this week's Thursday Night Football game featuring the hapless San Diego Chargers against the resurgent and will be a force to contend with next year Oakland Raiders, I would like to make a simple humble request: CAN YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER DEITY OR