A Thursday Afternoon Carpenter Existential Experience!

WCS - February 15, 2024February 15, 2024

Greetings, hola, guten tag, ni how, and yadda yadda. I swear the month of February exists only to mess with people's sense of time, space, and perception. 2024 is already six weeks old, we never really had winter in Yinzburgh, and I can't tell if the days are getting longer (sort

Most Unusual Superb Owl (2023 Season) Thoughts

Reflections

King Hippo - February 12, 2024February 11, 2024

Well, was that a classic or a shitshow? Really, it was both. For 3+ quarters of footy, only the kickers really did anything. Nothing really happened with either offense. Then...everything happened. Except we were 1 second on the play clock away from entering Q6. Two turnovers each way, but only the Chefs

Instant Hippo Micro-Thoughts (Championship Sunday, 2023 Season)

Reflections

King Hippo - January 29, 2024January 28, 2024

Well, merde. The Narrative Owl it is, and one has to root for the Tomsulas. Speaking of, at least they weren't GIVEN anything - they just fucking took that game away. Doing what good teams do, finding an extra reserve of will and urgency, to dig out of a 24-7 halftime

Random Night Open Thread – for a rainy day Part Deux

ballsofsteelandfury - January 22, 2024January 22, 2024

Turns out today is LITERALLY a Rainy Day here in LA. Who knew? As the fallout from yesterday's games is coming through, here are a few things to note: *** Jason Kelce is the better Kelce brother. He's a big adorable teddy bear, has a hot wife, and is incredibly funny. It's really

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Sunday (2023 Season)

Reflections

King Hippo - January 22, 2024January 21, 2024

We close the Flacco-Free Flacco Eight, with two very good games. One winner more likeable than the other, but such is life. Fuck or Walk time is upon us, and the Lions? Well, they FUCKED. Was a slow burn, this game. Two heavyweight boxers feeling each other out. DET gets 3, MRSA

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card Sunday (2023 Season)

Reflections

King Hippo - January 15, 2024January 14, 2024

How mad do y'all think Jerral is, that he has to wait until after MLK Day to rage-fire Mike McCarthy? How much iced cream do you reckon the latter ate after the game? To infinity and beyond we goes. I have often scoffed at notions of "momentum" and over-thinking things like the

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card Saturday (2023 Season)

Reflections

King Hippo - January 14, 2024January 13, 2024

I don't really have much to say - but what the hell. A Sunday morning placeholder, I guess! NBC's matinee was a pretty compelling football match, for about 35 minutes of play. #ThePauls even led 14-10 in Q2! I know, it was cray. Back and forth, and it looked pretty even.

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 18, 2023 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - January 8, 2024January 7, 2024

This is the end, my imaginary friends. The end. I mean, for the regular season. And of course, Happy Afrikan-American Monday, for all who celebrate (nods in Ron Rivera). Team WKRP will not be going to the playoffs, but (i) at least they didn't go winless in the division; and (ii)

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2023 Season (Plus Final JV Exhibitions)

King Hippo - January 1, 2024December 31, 2023

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The roads to the Owl will run through Baltimore, MD and Santa Clara, CA. Congrats to the Ratbirds and Tomsulas for clinching their 1 seeds, even before the Week 18 schedule drops. Quality work, y'all. Such praise is especially earned by Balmer, who followed up their Week 16 humbling of Purdy

Sharkbait’s Cocktail of the Week: Punching out of 2023

Sharkbait - December 29, 2023December 29, 2023

So we've made it, the end of the year. Hopefully 2023 was generally good for you, and 2024 continues the good times for you. This week I'm bringing a last minute punch you can serve at any kind of weekend festivities you may be planning. It's comes from this Instagram

Instant Yuletide Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2023 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 25, 2023December 24, 2023

HO, HO, HO!! Santa Ginger Hammer saved the big goodies for this festive Monday, but we still got to open some socks and cartons of cigarettes Christmas Eve. Maybe more like "hats and T-shirts that won't need shipping to sub-Saharan Afrika after all" for Detroit, who finally got their Division title

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2023 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 18, 2023December 17, 2023

Oh my. My, my, my. Every game can't be a Van Gogh, but we will always have Lake Effect Bearsenschiesse (h/t LemonJello). Because our DUUUUUVVVVAAALLLL imaginary pal very much sent the best prayer ever into the universe, asking how they could produce the most Bearsenschiesse ending to their near-comeback (which followed their