Go West, Young Chip

WCS - January 14, 2016January 14, 2016

Wellllllll.... this should be interesting... Charles E. "Chip" Kelly has accepted the position of head coach of the Santa Clara San Francisco 49ers. I mean, when your team president and noted thin-skinned dickbag Jed York couldn't get along with noted successful sociopath and discount khaki enthusiast Jim Harbaugh, it's a brilliant idea to

Coach Zimmer Prepares for the Offseason

laserguru - January 14, 2016

{ Interior Vikings team HQ, Eden Prairie Minnesota} Coach Zimmer: "Well, that's about the last of the team interviews. Guess there's nothing left to do but clear out the desk and get the fuck out of here. Goddammit. So fucking close. We did achieve our initial goal of winning the NFC

Whither, Raiders?

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - January 14, 2016January 14, 2016

EXT. EQUESTRIAN CLUB - DAYTIME A trio of well-dressed gentlemen sit around a patio table. Two of them - XAVIER and WINCHESTER - casually watch as several riders and horses engage in show jumping exercises, while the third - HENDRICK - is engaged in a telephone conversation, during which he says

Your Wednesday Night Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 13, 2016

It is a crazy thin night watchable pro-sports-wise. The NBA is throwing OKC and GS up against the wall. The NHL has countered with the Bruins and Panthers. Followers of shitty teams are wallow-basking in their own self-hate tonight! The heavy lifting is being done by those fellas that get

Duchess Destroys the St. Louis Rams

DFOing Good

Duchess - January 13, 2016January 13, 2016

You know this sucks the Rams have chosen to move back to Los Angeles. This is going to be such a hit to the city of St. Louis. Actually St. Louis is better off not having the Rams than giving them another stadium That has to be pure bullshit how can not

Fan Free Agency

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris - January 13, 2016January 12, 2016

139

As many of you know, I am the founder and proprietor of this particular dick joke and football blog. I am also a man without a country, NFL fandom-wise. Not all of you know, but I'm a born-and-bred St. Louisian, so today's news hits me HARD. I've now had two

Your “Only 17 Lousy Games Left” Tuesday Night Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 12, 2016

233

Well, college of football is all done. And we're entering the home stretch of the NFL season. According to a gluten-free flan chart I just made up, after this coming weekend (some number less than) 24 games remain. That's not a lot of games. Remember when you were crying/celebrating/masturbating/saying 'meh'/dead

Counterpoint: The National Football League Is Great, By Trent Green

NotKontent

Old School Zero - January 12, 2016January 12, 2016

Hello, I'm current National Football League commentator Trent Green, and I read the article on your site that said not to buy any National Football League merchandise or go to as many games and just watch it at home, and I couldn't disagree more. As part of the National Football

This is not where I parked my car!

ballsofsteelandfury - January 12, 2016January 11, 2016

Entropy made a comment in Hippo's Monday post that alluded to the NFL turning into the NBA so gradually we didn't even notice. Truth be told, I'd had the same thought over the course of this weekend. It is disturbing for sure. I thought about writing up a post, but it's

Rednecks Galore JV National Championship Preview/Game Thread

King Hippo - January 11, 2016January 11, 2016

564

Yes, the long winter of our discontent draws nigh. Wild Card, Bitches! weekend is past, and tonight ends the JV season. Remember, down the street, not across the tracks... Alabama vs. Clemson (8:30, ESPN) There are ample reasons to hate both teams. Nick Saban, obviously, drinks puppy blood and

Instant Hippo Thoughts – NFC Wild Card Edition

Reflections

King Hippo - January 11, 2016January 10, 2016

The games were better, the results were not. In Ice Bowl 2: Electric (Bench) Boogaloo, the SeaTruthers did absolutely fuckall for 50+ minutes of game action. Minnesota built a 9-0 lead on three very strong kicks in ridiculous conditions, and the "insurmountable lead" jokes were plenty and deserved. But

Commentist Beer Barrel: Happy Birthday To Me

Commentist Beer Barrel

makeitsnowondem - January 10, 2016January 11, 2016

Good evening, everyone. I'm afraid this Beer Barrel will be even more self-indulgent than usual, and no, I've never engaged in any self-deception about just how high that bar is. You see, yesterday was my thirtieth birthday, and I decided my gift to myself would be to drink whatever the