Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 52)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 21, 2016October 20, 2016

A note to our loyal readers: Here at the busy offices of Hard Ride To Nowhere we're sure to read each and every piece of fan mail that comes across our desks. Over the past year the query we've most often come across is: Whatever happened to those two detectives?

Your NFC North Not-Showdown Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - October 20, 2016

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Can you smell the weekend? What does it smell like? For some that experience that thing called "seasons", it may have the odour of raking leaves. For you youngsters out there, perhaps the aroma of a failed bar pickup is invading your nostrils. For others, perhaps a trip to Bed,

CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 20, 2016October 19, 2016

So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing

25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed and Easily Distracted Fan: Week 6

Cuntler - October 20, 2016October 19, 2016

As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you a list of questions that I, an uninformed and easily distracted NFL fan, had after Week 6. Did you miss me, fuckers? I didn't think so.

Your “Today is a Dead News Day” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - October 19, 2016October 19, 2016

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It seems that in honour of tonight's third and final Presidential debate, all NFL news is doom & gloom: Skipping practice: Joe Flacco; Odell Beckham Jr.; Terrelle Prior. Out multiple weeks: Eddie Lacy; Ben Roethlisberger. Fined: Vontaze Burfict - $75000 + no games. Benched: Ryan Fitzpatrick. Welcome back, Geno. Shoulda

Commentist Beer Barrel: One Mint Julep

Commentist Beer Barrel

makeitsnowondem - October 19, 2016

I was a little sick last week, so both the Beer Barrel and my actual drinking were somewhat abbreviated, and this review is going up very, very late. But better late than never, right? Right? If you'd prefer never, please don't tell me. Let's talk about beer instead. Avery Brewing in Boulder,

Beggars at the Feast

Puzzles

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - October 19, 2016October 19, 2016

Last week, the hapless Cleveland Browns lost yet again in what (on paper and prior to kickoff) seemed like their best chance to obtain a victory this season. When Tennessee scored a touchdown to go up 28-13 with less than seven minutes remaining in the game, it seemed like another

Your “Will I Be Judged For All That Drinking?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - October 18, 2016October 18, 2016

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NFL News: The Packers traded a conditional draft pick to the Chiefs in exchange for Knile Davis. Lacy's gimpy ankle means they need more help behind the line. Because what's clearly holding the Packers back right now is the running game. Having possibly borrowed something from the owner's private stash,

Insert Freezing Balls and Snowballs Joke Here

DFOing Good

jjfozz - October 18, 2016October 17, 2016

"Now is the winter of our discontent." Soupy Sales wrote that and became one of the greatest writers of our day. But as much as I value Soupy's elan and breeding, I think he needed to take this a step further. "Now is the winter of our discontent, because winter is one

2016 Quotables (Week 6 – Submissions)

blaxabbath - October 18, 2016October 18, 2016

Remember in the Cardinals preview when I told you not to pick David Johnson early in your fantasy draft? Well, I also said that team could be the top overall seed in the NFC so I'll just stick with what I know and that's posting gifs for the rest of you

Facts vs TV: The Green Bay Experience

Shogun Marcus - October 18, 2016October 18, 2016

DFO Note: Our own Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus was kind enough to brave the elements and his team not doing as well as he hoped to bring us a slice of the Green Bay Lambeau Field experience! If I haven't figured out how to give him credit for

Your “Monday, Bloody Monday” [no apologies to U2 whatsoever] NFL Open Thread

scotchnaut - October 17, 2016October 17, 2016

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Glad to see you made it through the day. It's always a bit of a relief to get this stupid day into your rear-view mirror, isn't it? Going over the comments in the open threads yesterday, I must say that the vast majority of you typer-people showed their A-game. Tons