Greetings, hola, guten tag, ni how, and yadda yadda.
I swear the month of February exists only to mess with people’s sense of time, space, and perception. 2024 is already six weeks old, we never really had winter in Yinzburgh, and I can’t tell if the days are getting longer (sort of) or not. Seasonal affective disorder is… in season.
There’s an excellent chance you may be experiencing similar symptoms, and/or events so far this year. Superb Owl is over, and the Chefs continue to be our overlords. This country can’t even celebrate something right. Trump’s still doing his whole “if I can’t have this solar system, no one can” thing. The lesser sports are about to take the void, because we don’t have anything else. Once again, I maintain this week is the true HATE WEEK.
But, not all is lost! We’re all here to console each other in this difficult time. Find little joys where you can. For instance,
The terrific people at Shout! Studios have no less than five live streams of old TV shows, including ALF, Carol Burnett and the crown jewel. Live, 25/8 MST3K is all I need to stay semi-sane. Seriously, I don’t paid by Shout! or anything, just check their channels out. There’s a lot.
We also see the return of our illustrious DJ3000. I’m sure he/she/it/SKYNET has plenty of updates from the Black Sea. yeah right’s been back in his lab with new and exciting surprises. Rikki’s Raiders will undoubtedly give us some LOLs at some point, too. I’m going to shit on Augusta National again, though if they actually have the nuts to exclude LIV, that would just make The Masters better. Point is, there’s plenty of stuff to keep us edutained. HAWKEY BABY.
For now, just meander here until later when yinz can imbibe your preferred brain cell killer at home, bar, wherever. 
The nighter is up and running.
MRs. Fozz has returned from her business trip, and it was last night. And I completely spaced on the fact it was Valentine’s Day. However, i was a good catholic boy and went and got ashes. I hate Lent. I hate Easter even more.
“Welcome home honey! I didn’t eat meat today but that shouldn’t stop you!”
I’m using that every Friday for the next 40 days.
To be honest, I think it’s bullshit, but it’s a sacrifice, so I can handle it.
I’ll just eat a raw tenderloin every saturday morning.
How do I read these school rankings? My wife tells me we live in a good district for the state —
— she does not mention the state ranks [47 to 50] in education —
and so we have to take a look at the schools in our district for K/1st next year (and that’s another thing! I got him all reading good but he’s a boy so I want to have him do Kindergarten at his new school and just be the oldest kid in the class bc he’s a cutoff range bday) and I’m like, “is this right, US News and Reports, that 43% of the kids in this school test at grade level in math?”
Seriously? I mean, I expect that the US grade level standard would be low enough for my white neighbors to meet (see: US Army physical fitness standards). This isn’t like the BMI thing where chunks can make the same excuses as beefcakes because that’s what happens with bad procedures. This is like, Gun Violence Rates level statistical absurdities.
Or is this a thing where only 43% of the kids are getting like B or A Grades in math? So 43% are just able to do excel in the classroom at math but, I hope, like 90% can sit down and complete one practical single-digit adding problem with a sum over 10 when they need to.
Cuz if that’s the case, I’m just sticking him in a high school now. Before he gets too big to mass shoot at.
How do I read these school rankings?
Well, Blax, it seems straightforward if you just
— she does not mention the state ranks [47 to 50] in education —
Oh, I see. Get someone in another state to read it for you.
ok i am coming around on ai. it fucks up so badly that it invents a new rat species by giving it ron jeremy’s dick. put this in textbooks.
rattus ronus jeremius
https://www.cnn.com/2024/02/14/us/constitution-encasement-vandalized-powder-climate/index.html
How dare they?! Only politicians are allowed to figuratively defile the Constitution!!!
shoulda wiped it with bbq sauce
What idiots.
Honestly, I think this warrants putting a guard at the Archives with Tomb of the Unknown Soldier level visitor behavior (which was 30 years ago so I dunno how it is now). The Archives has actual meaningful and irreplaceable exhibits to protect. And people this dumb should be shot — now we’ve got the excuse to pull the trigger here.
I say we get Noah Wyle, the Librarian!
I regret to inform y’all that Young Boys took a pounding in Zooropa knockout qualifiers. Back to lurking around the playgrounds for Marc T. (parts unknown).
“Young boys took a pounding? Do they any comfort?”
And your daily dose of cops.
Deputy does a header down the courthouse stairs.
https://youtu.be/jCwAkxz-7_M?si=PRN381RS-B7c4Uwd&t=32
He-man cop shoots at his own cop car with prisoner inside, after being startled by an acorn.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKmnJgXyZpU
My daughter did a small research project that got approved by her department, so she’s at the Big Apple presenting it at a neuropsychology convention. https://the-ins.org/meetings/new-york-2024/program/entry/31359/?gvid=34626 . The hotel it’s at, and where she’s staying while in NYC, is literally on Times Square. She’s spoiled rotten.
And I might or might not have shared this story. A lot of the data they gathered from their subjects comes from using an MRI machine. MRI machines are kept cooled with liquid helium. To shut them down for maintenance there’s a checklist that brings the machine down gently. Or there’s the big red QUENCH button, which you hit in case of emergencies. Like if the building is on fire or if the MRI machine is dragging a wheelchair towards the magnets or something. Daughter said their trained monkey technicians hit the quench button on their MRI machine on purpose. No emergency, they just decided to hit the button. She said it took about three months to bring it back to life, because it’s a little more complicated than just refilling the liquid helium tank. Who you gonna call? https://www.mrr.com/nmr-service-repair/quench-recovery/
Bummer. Now those techs have Real World Experience so they’re gonna want a raise.
Maybe he thought it would get the machine to produce several cans of this?
My niece has an internship this summer in NYC. She’ll be working at MSNBC, on the Alex Witt Report. She’s going to be staying in a dorm at NYU.
Is she college age? I know someone we can set her up with!
/Senorita Weaselo’s brother, who’s a freshman at NYU.
I’m still trying to figure out what to write during the off-season. Any suggestions? What do y’all want to see from me?
MAOR GOLF TALES
Options for journeys/trials to document:
Balls takes up curling
Balls revisits the LA live music scene
Balls tries to get a job as an executive producer for an adult video company
Balls creates/talks his lady into creating an only fans
College football realignment
I have really good ideas on college football realignment.
Please tell me it involves relegation. American society needs more relegation.
Absolutely.
Good idea!
February is the Tuesday of months
But Tuesday is the best night to go out!
And Riviera (Genesis tournament) is this weekend!
It’s also a 3 day weekend. Now I can fuck around with that!
We’ll always have DFO radio… It’s something to hang on to in these difficult times. Until the beaches open and the sun warms my back…
The LADWP installed new toilets in my house this morning, for free! That actually borders on being a medium-sized joy.
The Japanese type I trust.
It’s DWP. I highly doubt that.
That is correct. We’re fancying them up with new bidets/seats.