Your “We Could Use Another Miracle Right About Now” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Evening, dick jokers and jokerettes. As you may have heard, resident open threader BrewHomeyRex is on leave this weekly, likely exploiting free Canadian health care and bragging about his head-of-state's glove size.  But enough about maple leaf condoms, I volunteered to fill in today for two reasons: Chanukah and the

Your “Sunday Night Is For The Birds” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Banner image from NBC Sports Evening, degenerates.  Your usual sot/introducer was unable to cobble together enough enthusiasm to slog through three of these open threads today, and who can blame him? I climbed out of the content mines juuuuust long enough to hit 30,000 feet and write up a little something

The Wickersham Man on Eli Manning, Man

As our own ChampagneFellerRoy covered last night, Eli Manning has lost his starting job to Geno Smith. The NFL, much like life in American politics, is clearly a meritocracy, so Eli Manning acted like the trainers his brother assaulted in college and took it on the chin. But apparently some

Some Bears Have to Say Bye–2017 Bears Bye Week Update

Funny that the original url calls this a "snap image"

Scene: Once again, two large(ish) men speak in hushed tones as they walk together, this time deep in the woods of Utica, IL, cutting a trail through a state park.  They are a study in contrasts, physically and verbally, though both appear prepared for a long journey, massive backpacks hugging their

2017 Quotables — Week 8 Results

Ball already across the line? Touchdown Seahawks!

SCENE: Deep in the #Content mines of DFO, a group of trained monkeys--I mean DFO writers--are shackled to their typewriters. Someone gave tWBS a laptop once, and after that, no one was issued a wifi-enabled device ever again. Quietly, nearly imperceptibly, YEAHRIGHT and SHOGUN MARCUS begin whispering to each other,

We Care Since the NFL Doesn’t

By now, unless you have carefully cultivated your social media feed(s) to only reflect the opinions of people Richard Spencer believes should have the right to vote, you have seen a slew of "Me, too" and/or #metoo posts on facebook, twitter, etc. In the wake of the latest public outing

BFC’s Fantasy Sleepers

Photo Credit:

THE FOOTBALL SEASON IS NIGH! YAAAAAAAAAAY! And with it, fantasy football also starts in earnest. Our very own TrollSoHardUniversity has been tackling fantasy and legal questions like Joe Mixon takes down restaurant patrons, and he will continue to do that throughout the season, until he gets bored, sued, or until Cuntler

Chicago Bears 2017-2018 Preview

Today is a weird day. Not just in the DFO Clubhouse either. All across America today, PERHAPS EVEN RIGHT NOW, the moon is blocking out the sun.   What greater metaphor for the 2017 Bears Football Season than that?!  Abandon all hope ye who enter this season as Bears fans. In these

BONUS 25 Questions About…

The HALL OF FAME GAME! Balls already banged out this week's edition of 25 Questions About... but this is a special BONUS edition since the Hall of Fame Game is today, it rhymes, it usually sucks, but at least it's football!  Stand by for cromulent musings on the game itself from

Chicago Bears 1967 Season Preview

Well, sports fans, last season was quite a disappointment for the Chicago Major League Baseball club's big brothers, as they plodded their way to a 5-7-2 record, finishing a dismal 5th place in the NFL West despite nearly scoring that magical number of 17 points per game. They even lost

4th of July Weekend NFL Player PSAs

Happy (Almost) Independence Day! I hope yeahright is the only one who has to work today, and that no one is cruel enough to make you have to work tomorrow. As you may have read elsewhere on the internets, the king of 4th of July celebrations put out a public service