2018-2019 Chicago Bears Preview

Photo Credit: Some Weird Youtube Video with Adrian Amos Every year of my football-watching life, the off-season has been a giant slog punctuated by tiny dopamine hits along the otherwise slow, cruel, and seemingly endless march to opening kickoff. As soon as the Super Bowl was over, I craved football's return.

Your “Are Duke Harry and Duchess Meghan Divorced Yet?” Sunday Late Afternoon/Early Evening Open Thread

Photo Credit: USA Today Scene: Nottingham Cottage on the sprawling Kensington Palace Grounds. A beautiful woman and her ginger husband are basking in their freshly wedded bliss  Duke of Sussex: Ay, love, this is the best. Just you and me and all these servants, and the paparazzi as soon as we step outside.

Request Line: Things You Maybe Heard Right

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY. A grizzled old man settles into the chair behind the microphone.  He looks through the glass at the GUEST PRODUCER, who has been silently staring at him since his arrival at the station.  The grizzled old man starts to talk but wisely thinks better of it

Other Reasons Jon Gruden Will Cut a Player

Photo Credit: NBC Sports As our own Mr. Weasel pointed out last night, Jon Gruden cut* Raiders punter Marquette King for either a desire to avoid personal foul penalties (a category the Raiders tend to finish high in no matter who their punter is), to send a message that showboating (or

2018 NFL Free Agent Round-Up

Banner image via Kingman County News Folks we are less than two weeks from the start of Free Agency, and while the NFL doesn't have a "hot stove", it most certainly has a hot cauldron of lust.  Or something. Errybody's got lists of top NFL free agents, but as our own yeahright has

The Commissioner Calls a Meeting

Banner Image via   Thank you all for coming on such short notice. With the conference championships upon us this weekend, this meeting had to happen at once. I think we all know that this has been an extraordinarily exciting post-season. Comebacks and rallies and heartbreak and a quarterback throwing a touchdown

Instant Reaction to New Chicago Bears Head Coach Matt Nagy


Banner Image Via NBC Sports Yesterday, the Chicago Bears announced the hiring of erstwhile Kansas City Chiefs Offensive Coordinator Matt Nagy as the 16th head coach in franchise history. GM Ryan Pace, recent recipient of a largely undeserved 2 year contract extension, worked harder than Ernie Accorsi in picking a winner

Let’s Take a Field Trip!

Banner image via some random ass site Scene: A large industrial footprint that, come on, you can read the banner image, right? Clearly we're at a recycling facility. Let's say it's north of New York for proximity to the NFL offices and because where exactly doesn't matter. It's fiction, just suspend

2017 Quotables – Week 16 (Results)

Photo Credit: NY Post I'd make a "The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree" joke, but honestly, the above-pictured Eli looks more like a penis in that hoodie than he does a fruit. Speaking of circumcision, some tough cuts in this week's quotables. It was a holiday weekend, so like late

2017 Quotables – Week 15 Results

Banner Image from Pinterest.  What? Screw you.  And yes, he is a big ol' meathead. Buenos días, damas y caballeros. Your usual consigliere de Quotables has decided that you all deserve his entertainment but not his judgment. So you're stuck with me. Boo fucking hoo. This week's submissions here. You'll note not all

Your “We Could Use Another Miracle Right About Now” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Evening, dick jokers and jokerettes. As you may have heard, resident open threader BrewHomeyRex is on leave this weekly, likely exploiting free Canadian health care and bragging about his head-of-state's glove size.  But enough about maple leaf condoms, I volunteered to fill in today for two reasons: Chanukah and the