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"THIS GUY, RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY, I CALL HIM PETE HEGSETH BECUASE HE LIKES TO DECLARE HIS BOMBERS HAVE DESTROYED SOMETHING WHEN THEY REALLY HAVEN’T" – LemonJello

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Author: The Maestro

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  • Your 2017 #DoLoThroDo Recap

    Your 2017 #DoLoThroDo Recap

    October 9, 2017

    As I mentioned on Saturday, I did an incredibly dumb thing, where I embarked out to eat as many Doritos Locos tacos as I…

  • Announcing… The #DoLoThroDo17 Challenge.

    Announcing… The #DoLoThroDo17 Challenge.

    October 6, 2017

    I’m doing a stupid thing on Saturday, and I encourage you all to join me in this endeavour if you so please. If you…

  • CFL Beat: Week 16

    CFL Beat: Week 16

    October 5, 2017

    Thanksgiving Weekend is almost here! Yes, the real Thanksgiving. I talked about this a couple years ago as to why Canadian Thanksgiving is superior…

  • CFL Beat: Week 15

    CFL Beat: Week 15

    September 28, 2017

    We’ll be 75% of the way through the 2017 CFL season once this week wraps up, though judging by the weather throughout the Northeast…

  • Trent Richardson somehow lands another contract; joins CFL Roughriders

    September 26, 2017

    In surprising news north of the border, Trent Richardson has yet again inexplicably extended his football career by signing with the CFL’s Saskatchewan Roughriders.…

  • CFL Beat: Week 14

    CFL Beat: Week 14

    September 21, 2017

    This is the time of year where the injury bug is starting to get very noticeable in the CFL. I’m not certain how many…

  • CFL Beat: Week 13

    CFL Beat: Week 13

    September 14, 2017

    The hurricanes are over – for now – and autumn is just around the corner. It’s an old Canadian cliché to say that the…

  • CFL Beat: Week 12

    CFL Beat: Week 12

    September 7, 2017

    School is back, and gone is my sanity, as I’m forced into teaching ninth grade math for the first time in my career… an…

  • CFL Beat: Week 11

    CFL Beat: Week 11

    August 31, 2017

    So I have to start this week’s article with a rant… because I am fucking pissed at the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. As I’m sure many…

  • A TOAST TO BLEERGH: Your 2017 New England Patriots Preview

    A TOAST TO BLEERGH: Your 2017 New England Patriots Preview

    August 28, 2017

    [INT. – A dark, candlelit dungeon appears slowly in the dim light. A hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks…

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