Guttersnipe

Sometimes it feels strange to have another man’s ball in your hands. The weight might not be quite right or the holes could be too far apart or too small. Familiar, yet completely foreign. Given enough time spent holding it, however, exploring its cavities and getting comfortable with its heft,

Can I Get an Amen!?!: 2022 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread

2021 PREDICTION: 13-4, AFC Champions 2021 REALITY: 11-6, Divisional Round loss in an instant classic It is dark times for the Buffalo Bills faithful. It's not just Eric from Lackawanna putting his injury settlement on the line picking them to go to the Super Bowl. It's everyone. The Bills are currently 7:2

A Modester Proposal: DFO Buys the Denver Broncos (and Tuesday Open Thread)

I have been called many things: Dreamer. Madman. Mrs. Ethel Burstein. But this is not some delusion of grandeur, like that time I thought I could renew my drivers license in less than two hours. No, this dream can come true. WILL come true. DFO is going to buy the Denver Broncos. It sort

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 GLORIOUS BUFFALO BILLS Bye Week Update

So, apparently they played football last weekend? The Big Bye (wherein nearly 20% of the league was idle) hit especially hard this year, because it included the guaranteed AFC Champion Buffalo Bills. Did I go there? Yes I did, you craven weirdos. GUARANTEED. AFC. CHAMPIONS. That noise you hear from Orchard Park?

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 San Francisco 49ers Bye Week Update

So I missed the traditional Bye Week Update window for the Santa Clara 49ers (2-3, third in the NFC West by virtue of not having played) largely because I didn't realize until Sunday night that they were on a bye. And that is somewhat telling about the team so far: mediocre,

They’ve Got Us Surrounded, The Poor B*stards: 2021 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread

[Author's Note: Yes, this is the Tuesday Evening Open Thread.  Jack shit is going on tonight, and as of now the biggest NFL news is Tyrod Taylor being named the Texans starter.  Given that Jack Easterby has replaced the Texans medical staff with three faith healers and a televangelist, I

Chainmail and Chucklef**ks: 2021 San Francisco 49ers Preview

Well that didn't take long. Last year's preview was basically one long mea culpa about how wrong I had been to predict that the 2019 49ers would go 6-10, when they actually went to the Super Bowl. The 2020 Niners promptly went...6-10. I wasn't wrong, just early. This year's team does not hold a whole

Dreams Like This Must Die (‘Everton, That’ Edition)

Yeah, it's been a bad week.  There is no silver lining.  Reportedly, Everton only received minimal (or even ZERO) compensation from the Real Cuntfaces of Madrid. Sure, Ancelotti (no MOAR affectionate nickname) will be lucky to survive the season at the Bernebau.  No, I don't care whether I spelled it correctly,