That’s My Raiders! Pocket Presence

EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: Everybody Loves My Raiders [sic] is filmed in front of a live stereo [sic] audience. CUT TO – INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY The music of Dashboard Confessional blares throughout the house.  KOLTON MILLER sits on the couch, munching from

Please Gamble Responsibly

On Labour Day Weekend,  my lazy Saturday started with a vigorous masturbation session and only got better from there. On Hippo's JV Footy Open Thread, https://doorfliesopen.com/2018/09/01/jv-nfl-2018-kickoff-posting/ he encouraged us commentists to spice up our game-watching activities by making some wagers. Redshirt and I stepped up as UCLA and Cincinnati were playing each other at

AFL Beat 2018 Finals Week 1

This week, And Dustin Martin is good. Welcome to Balls of Steel's AFL Beat! The First Qualifying Final started things off with #1 Richmond hosting #4 Hawthorn at the MCG. Now, prior to the game,  the big question was whether Hawthorn was BACK and if Richmond was up for the challenge of defending

AFL Beat Finals Bye Week

This week, even though there are no games (or are there?), we still have stuff to talk about as the AFL season-ending awards were given out, we review the bottom ten clubs' season, and we look forward to next week's finals. Welcome to Balls of Steel's AFL Beat! *** Awards Week This week, multiple

#QBANON: Your 2018 New England Patriots Preview

[EXT. - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS TRAINING CAMP.] [The sun is shining over Gillette Stadium. No clouds are in the sky, and the stadium is beautiful.] [CUT to INT. - A dark, candlelit dungeon. A tall, hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks of ancient, leather-bound volumes piled high.

AFL Beat 2018 Round 23

This week, Welcome to Balls of Steel's AFL Beat! Round 23 Recaps and Highlights The final Round of the Home and Away season started with the Port Adelaide Power's last and best chance to sneak into the Eight after falling out last week.  All they had to do was beat the Essendon Bombers

Your “Cincy vs Buffalo, I Wouldn’t Even Watch This In Regular Season So Why Am I Watching It Now?” Midday Sunday Thread Of Apathy

Yeah, some signals got crossed.  So there's not going to be much here. Sorry, not sorry. But that's good because you don't want me to get to talking about Jaime Pressly again.  OR DO YOU?????? Oh dammit, I forgot to call her earlier.  No wonder women hate me. - Cincy at Buffalo Nobody cares but Redshirt

No Ones Chargers 2018 Season Preview

INTERIOR - ST. SOPHIA CATHEDRAL, LOS ANGELES - MIDDAY [A decent group of formal, yet lavishly dressed people sit in the pews as the funeral for Faye Spanos is about to get underway. However, due to the vast size of the church, the audience seems dwarfed by comparison. The organ softly

AFL Beat 2018 Round 22

This week, Welcome To Balls Of Steel’s AFL Beat! Round 22 Recaps and Highlights The Round started on Australian Friday Night with Essendon's last and only hope of staying in the finals picture:  Beating Richmond at the MCG. Yeah, that wasn't really going to happen, right? To their credit, the Bombers kept it

Your “It’s Tuesday Which Means…At Least It’s not Monday????” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Wow, what a day. I ended a relationship and got accused of hit and run. OK, for the record, those two things are unrelated.  I was not accused of hit and run by the young lady I ended the relationship with. Well, that's not exactly true.  But she didn't say it in those

Vikings Season Preview: Coach Zimmer reads a tweet.

Exterior - Vikings Training Camp. Day. The team practices in full pads. Coach Zimmer is observed at a distance and is unusually quiet. Vikings GM Rick Speilman addresses the media. Rick Speilman: "Coach Zimmer doesn't have any statement to make as of today but I can answer any team related questions you may

AFL Beat 2018 Round 21

This week, Welcome To Balls Of Steel's AFL Beat! Round 21 Recaps and Highlights The Round started,  as usual,  with Australian Friday Night Footy and the Essendon Bombers hosting the St. Kilda Saints in a desperate attempt to keep their faint finals hopes alive. On the bright side for the Bombers,  it was the