Preseason Football Sucks

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 GLORIOUS BUFFALO BILLS Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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So, apparently they played football last weekend? The Big Bye (wherein nearly 20% of the league was idle) hit especially hard this year, because it included the guaranteed AFC Champion Buffalo Bills. Did I go there? Yes I did, you craven weirdos. GUARANTEED. AFC. CHAMPIONS. That noise you hear from Orchard Park?

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 San Francisco 49ers Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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So I missed the traditional Bye Week Update window for the Santa Clara 49ers (2-3, third in the NFC West by virtue of not having played) largely because I didn't realize until Sunday night that they were on a bye. And that is somewhat telling about the team so far: mediocre,

Chainmail and Chucklef**ks: 2021 San Francisco 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Well that didn't take long. Last year's preview was basically one long mea culpa about how wrong I had been to predict that the 2019 49ers would go 6-10, when they actually went to the Super Bowl. The 2020 Niners promptly went...6-10. I wasn't wrong, just early. This year's team does not hold a whole

Yay, We’re All Happy About Brady’s Seventh Ring – The 2021 DFO Tampa Bay Buccaneers Preview

SonOfSpam -
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600,000 Americans died last year from a disease that kept them from getting enough air in their lungs, so it was only appropriate that the Super Bowl was won by the one guy who gets positively erect over "not enough air." Yes, Tom Dickcheese Brady (ed. note - did we

HARF HARF WHAT’S (VERY) OLD IS… OLD AGAIN: YOUR 2021 YINZBURGH STILLERS WHO KNOWS

WCS -
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December 2, 2020 Stillers: 19 Ratbirds: 14 The Stillers were 11-0, the longest undefeated streak to open a season in franchise history, and the only team without a loss left in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. The Yinzers weren't exactly the '85 Bears, but, were finding ways to win and win and

Euro Semifinal numero Uno!

litre_cola -
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Good day to you the banner is Skillzy the mascot. Does he moonlight as an underground DJ and coke dealer? I hope you enjoyed your long weekend and are blissfully off the whole week for the last of our summer of futbol.     We get the Greg Louganis special first where it will

Football’s Sh***iest Cosplay: Your 2020 Detroit Lions Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Hot Taek: The Detroit Lions are perhaps the most consistently DFO Team in the league. Why? Schadenfreude. They jettisoned Jim Caldwell for the sin of going 9-7 in consecutive years. At that point, they hired Matt Patricia from the Patriots.  Bob Quinn had been hired from the Greatriots in 2016 and

New Orleans Saints Season Preview: A DJ TAJ Joint

yeah right -
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Oh What, You Don't have one of these? It's Okay You can Kiss mine     Football, what’s football? I know what a pandemic is, I didn’t used to, but I damn sure know now. First let me say that of course I want the cherished game televised in all its splendor right in my

A Feast of Crow: 2020 San Francisco 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Longtime readers know that I have gone on at interminable length regarding my semi-papal near-infallibility.  I am almost never wrong, and it drives Dr. Mrs. Mayhem fucking insane. But God has no place on the West Coast.  The 6-10 49ers actually went 13-3.  Trip to the Super Bowl. Fuckit. I do feel

I Can See Cleeeeeaarrrly Now, Tom Braaaaady’s Gone: 2020 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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[Author's Note: Despite the overwhelmingly positive response to last year's All Interpretive Dance team preview, I have decided not to go back to that well a second year in a row.  Try to contain your disappointment.] So here it is.  It's finally happening.  Like Christmas morning, high school graduation and losing