Santa Clara Diet: A San Francisco 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 14, 2019August 13, 2019

[Author's Note: In support of DFO's efforts to maintain its position at the bleeding edge of Blog Innovation, I have chosen to conduct this preview as a Pre-Post-Modern Impressionist visual meditation on man's inhumanity to man. Please tune in tomorrow for the Bills preview, which will be in the form

Your “Warning: Football-Like Activity Has Been Detected!” Saturday Evening Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 10, 2019August 10, 2019

190

Despite it being just the first week of exhibition I think most of us have taken a quick peek at the games on offer. The real jostling for positions, the surprise cuts, the trades, ('hey did you hear anything, Duke Johnson?') the implications for your fantasy drafts and the season-ending

Preseason LiveBlog: It’sHereIt’sHereIt’sHereIt’sHere!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 1, 2019August 1, 2019

182

It's TIME, biznitches! Pre-Preseason Football is upon us. It is time to anesthetize ourselves to our misgivings and celebrate the unifying factor that brought us all here- NFL FOOBAW!!! WHEN AND WHERE TO WATCH: 8 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. God Fearing Time. NBC. WHERE: Canton, Ohio, because it is the "Hall of Fame Game."

Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 23, 2018

392

[kid's entertainer walks onto stage to rabid applause] Entertainer: "HELLO OUT THERE, ALL MY LITTLE POOPSTERS!" Audience: "HELLO CAPTAIN SHITSTAIN!" C-Stain: "Oh! It's so lovely to see all my friends. There's Dookie in the front row." [camera pans to excited child wearing a "Don't Shit Where You Eat" t-shirt] C-Stain: "Boy, have I got a

2018 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Preview

Wakezilla - August 21, 2018August 21, 2018

*Camera goes on to reveal Donald Trump inside Trump Tower late at night. Trump is holding and reading from his ipad, with a smile on his face, until he reads the latest headline on AOL's main page* Trump in a sarcastic voice: Oh you really nailed me there, Oliver. I've been

Your “Dane You Mont to the Football Day” Saturday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 18, 2018August 18, 2018

159

See? I can talk all kinds of fancy when the mood urges me! Do you like urges? I like them. They crawl into your mindhole and sit there festering, oozing that delicious milky-white substance that tastes a lot like room temperature ice cream. (h/t, Mr. Flacco) And then, and then..

Your Saturday Afternoon Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 18, 2018August 18, 2018

Well, what have we got here? Looks like a double-header-each of which could be interesting in different ways. The Jags and Vikes will be upper echelon teams in their respective conferences and should take their divisions as well. As for the Raiders and Rams? Umm, hmm... This premise of mine

New Orleans Saints 2018 Preview or Fete for the Lwa

yeah right - August 17, 2018August 16, 2018

Banner Image is the real Marie Laveau Hello kiddies! I'm back. Here at the nervous hospital where I have been requested to stay they felt (the fools) safe enough to swing open the doors of the mentally wounded and desperately depraved ward and let me have a visit but this visit comes

Your “Will The Football Get Better? Only Slightly, Son, Only Slightly” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 16, 2018

265

The best thing about hot and swampy mid-August as far as my brain box is concerned? We're that much closer to the most wonderful month of the year-the one that comes afterward. Can't recall its name but I do know the weather cools down a bit, (suck it, warm Earthers!)

Yinzburgh Stillers 2018 Preview

WCS - August 10, 2018August 10, 2018

Well, holy hell. Wasn't that AFC Championship Game the throwdown everyone, expected, and deserved? Two titans of the AFC having yet another remtatch to see who is who? Two greats, with history, both recent, and historically, to add to their legacy? Steelers and Patriots, two rivals vying for for supremacy

HAWT PRESEASON AXXSHUN! Thursday Night

WCS - August 9, 2018August 9, 2018

333

WEEK ONE OF THE PRESEASON WOOOOOOOOOO.... Who's ready to watch sixth-round draft picks from Middle Tennessee State run into undrafted guys from Cal-Poly and Mount Union?! This is our methadone for the four weeks, before our six month heroin bender begins. 24 teams (that's 75% of the league; MATH!) play tonight. Here's

Hard Knocks Season Premier and Tuesday Night Open Thread.

yeah right - August 7, 2018August 7, 2018

192

Hot diggity damn y'all! It's premier night for Hard Knocks on HBO! While many folks will bitch and moan about the repetition, the tired tropes, the year-to-year story lines I am hear to tell you "Who gives a flying fuck?" To me it means football is right around the corner. One way