Good morning. As with most authors of these posts, I am stealing the format that has come before me. We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have: Copa América Euro 2020 CONCACAF Gold Cup Tokyo Olympic Games And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the
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The DFO Euro 2020 (In 2021!) Preview: Finland
We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have: Copa América (South American Euros) Euro 2020 (European Euros aka defiers of the space/time continuum) CONCACAF Gold Cup Tokyo Olympic Games And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the European Soccer (Football) championships aka Euro 2020! Obligatory Hippo Speak - they's
DFO Monday Morning Mock Draft: Chapter The Third
One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated
Horatio’s DFO 2020 Will Never End Mock Draft 2.0 And Open Thread
Greetings, fellow shut-ins. We like to use the term 'shut-ins' around here to mock our propensity for staying indoors on our various devices while talking about football, lesser football, boobs, butts, and why Trump sucks, but in truth these days we are all, with the rest of the world, literal
Mouth Flies Open: DFO Mailbag #17
The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. We're getting closer and closer to the inevitable Chiefs-Patriots AFC Championship matchup--AND spending
Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag #16
The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. The NFL season is a reality for 28 or so teams, so the
“Over Before It Begins” – A [DFO] Western Conference Preview
As a longtime supporter of the Vancouver Canucks, there's a reason I chose at a young age to also root for the Bruins - I needed something to do during the playoffs. Plus, it's not like the league actually enjoys having teams in Western Canada. Look at this map: If Gary Bettman
“How Will I Be Disappointed This Year?” – A DFO NHL Eastern Conference Preview
Hi everyone, It's your old pal Beerguyrob with DFO's annual looksee into the mire that is the NHL's Eastern Conference. This year, I will dispense with the usual "Ugh - not the fucking Penguins again" tone and instead attempt to provide a balanced one-paragraph per team, highlighting strengths & weaknesses so
Jameis Rides Again – The Tampa Bay Buccaneers DFO Preview
No one really cares about this team. The last time they were interesting, Mike Alstott was winning fans' hearts two yards at a time, and Jon Gruden was considered a quality football mind. With that in mind, this preview is gonna be a listicle. I'm lazy, you don't care, it's
DFO Art Week: Bad Photoshops
Welcome to hump day! It's the third day of our celebration of the art history of doorfliesopen, and today we'll be taking a look at some of the most ham-fisted photoshop work that has ended up on here on the site. Endearingly ham-fisted, we hope. Enjoy! Note that we could do
Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag Lucky #13
The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. While the NFL season is over and THE SHIELD has just barely started
Mouth Flies Open: DFO Mailbag Número Doce
The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. While the NFL season is over until THE SHIELD cranks up the bullshit