Author: BrettFavresColonoscopy

NFL Owners, THEY’RE JUST LIKE US

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I don't know if you've heard, but it's Super Bowl (or, if you want to obey the first rule of DFO, Superb Owl) week! Yesterday, Commissioner/Ginger hammer/Megadouche/National Disgrace Roger Goodell did his part to stand before the press and earn his $30 million-ish a year salary by awkwardly chuckling about Hingle

2016 NFL Season End Standings, An Exploration

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No, not a jazz odyssey, an exploration. Clearly this is not an exclusive club, but I wanted to dig into it further. Just bear with me for a second as we take a closer look at the standings and who led each of these teams to their respective records. I

REDACTEDS On the Road

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  Scene: Exterior, late morning on a crisp, unseasonably warm December day in DC. An exciting weekend of football has been completed, as long as you can find "excitement" in missed field goals/extra points, a snowy Bears-49ers game that saw two NFL teams fail to complete a pass in the first quarter

Quoth the Ginger

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With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe, JJFozz, and actual writers/poets/intellectuals everywhere   Once upon a season dreary, while owners pondered, meek and bleary- Eyed, thumbing through the ratings from the week before—     The Shield's keepers, focused on accounting, were ignoring a sudden tapping, As if some one gently rapping, rapping on the windows of

Soldier Field Field Report

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As as with most things in life, I'm tardy in bringing this to you. But last week I went to the Bears-Lions game with Lady BFC (not sure that name is gonna work for her), my sister, and a buddy from elementary school. No, not an eight year old, dude,

The Sun Sets in the West

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It's a majestic day in Los Angeles. The sun glints off the glass of the Beverly Hills Plaza Hotel, renown for its plush terrycloth bathrobes and hospitality for reporters doing profiles of enigmatic pop stars. Gracefully but unobtrusively, a young man walks in with a hat and sunglasses in an

An Open Letter to New DFO Visitors

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Open letters are all the rage these days. There's even the open letter to open letters. Someday soon I'll write an open letter to Apple about my iPhone autocorrecting kegger to legged or letter. Here at [DFO], we've noticed a slight uptick in traffic lately and expect (read: hope) that

To Bear Down or Not To Bear Down

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That is the question. At the risk of stating the obvious, football is awesome. The hitting, the strategy, the fresh grass underfoot as your team of choice takes the field in that late summer warmth--they all fill you with excitement, anticipation, and joy. Yet there is a key ingredient required to

Ain’t No Party Like a 5th of July Party (Open Thread)

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It poured in our nation's capital yesterday, washing out many a bbq and celebration. Despite the weather, the massive "Capitol Fourth" concert PBS broadcasts from the West Front of the U.S. Capitol went on as planned, unless you were watching at home and noticed the sky alternating between gray and