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Author: Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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A Churlish Dickhead’s Christmas Carol: Part 1
INT. OFFICE – DAY Open in an office in Landover, Maryland. It is the day before Christmas, and a winter storm has shut down…
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Fifty Shades of Gravy (Part 1)
The first thing I notice about Mr. Irsay’s office is the smell; leather, stale human sweat, spilled beer. It reminds me so much of…
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Carousing with Cowherd: PK pays a visit
I was a captive audience for Cowherd’s radio show yesterday – I was stuck in traffic – and I didn’t have any creative ideas…
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Aaron Rodgers Receives a Call
AARON RODGERS: [phone rings] Oh, hey David. DEREK CARR: Goddamnit, Aaron, that’s not funny anymore. AARON RODGERS: [chuckles] How’s it going, kiddo? DEREK CARR:…
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A Welker Darkly
In early November of that year, nine months after he entered free agency, Wes was transferred to a practice facility in St. Louis, which is located…
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Aldon Smith Appeals His Suspension
INT. DAYTIME – ROGER GOODELL’S OFFICE ROGER GOODELL – the NFL commissioner – sits behind a desk shrouded with a dark sheet. ALDON SMITH…
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I am Keenan Allen’s Lacerated Kidney
YOU WAKE UP at MetLife Stadium. Every kickoff and kneeldown, when the ball was booted off a tee or snapped by the center, I…
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What’s Your “Human Garbage” Number?
So after seeing the photographs and police report materials this week, we can all agree with Katie Nolan’s assessment that Greg Hardy is “human…
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Meanwhile, on the CW…
EXT. DAYTIME – SANTA LUISA Scene opens with a helicopter shot over the ocean, sliding sideways over smooth sets of waves, bright sunlight reflecting off…
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The Dirk Half
A number of years ago, back before my children were born, I traveled quite a bit for work. One fall I found myself in…