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Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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CrimeBeat!: Anticlimax Edition
Well fuckery. I mean, Fourth of July weekend is traditionally a feast for your everyday Pulp Sports Crime Writer, and not just because Uncle…
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CrimeBeat!: “We Voted To Do What Now?” Edition
Men. MEN! In what I can only assume was a brilliant ploy to eliminate opponents of Real Football In London, Roger Goodell has successfully…
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CrimeBeat!: Requiem for a Lightweight Edition
It’s 4 pm on an offseason Tuesday. Do you know where your tangentially-NFL-related crime stories are? THEY ARE RIGHT FUCKING HERE! LET YOUR CELEBRATIONS…
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CrimeBeat!: Lead-Based Hangover Edition
So I wasn’t planning on doing a CrimeBeat! this week, as 1. it’s the off-off season, 2. work is shitty and makes me not…
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CrymBeet?: At My Most Beautiful
And so on. This week’s CrimeBeat! is brought to you by the letters F and U, and the number tequila. It’s a Satan’s Asshole…
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CrimeBeat!: Second Thoughts Edition
And then came the hangover. I’m still excited to see what the New Bills can do. And I’m still excited to see Todd Bowles…
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CrimeBeat!: Now With Extra Preservatives!
Gentlemen and ladies- I would like to formally retract my “this year’s draft is boring and too drawn out” statements. Not the “drawn out”…
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“Drafting For Character” and Other Spectacular Draft Lies
TOP IMAGE from “Great Lies to Tell Small Kids” by Andy Riley. Highly recommended book. SO HERE WE ARE! It’s hours until the draft…
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CrimeBeat!: The One With The Bourble
Greetings, Starfighter. You have been drafted by the National Football League to defend the Shield against Xur and the Ko-dan Armada. God, I loved…