Not Even Daddy (TWSS) Yet Blues

Alright, you cockstains, I’m looking for some help. As all are most likely aware, I’m about to be a dad for the first time. I am fucking terrified, as I’m sure you other parents were the first time (PHRASING) were, when the realization finally hit home that you’re about to

I Couldn’t Think of a Better Title Night Shift Thread

...so I gave you a Far Side cartoon, instead. Well, it's now March. March means spring is closer. It also means it's time for the greatest sporting event over the year*, the NCAA Tournament. While we're not quite there yet, it's tantalizingly close. Smaller conferences have begun their tournaments, and the

Superbowl #Content from Ben Blank, Uproxx Chief Creative Officer

I'm not here to talk about that thing that's happening over the weekend. I'm here to talk about #content and #branding! That's what we're really  interested in. People love #content, and they love #brands! Are you #upforwhatever? Here at Uproxx, we sure are! Whatever the cost, whatever it takes! Readers don't

Tuesday Night Holyshittheresalotofbasketball Thread

It's so much fun to see Dook having a "bad" season. It brings us great joy. Of course, those dickblocks will probably land a four-seed in the NCAA Tourney, and roll all the way to the national championship, because we're not allowed to experience joy for too long. Anyway, there's an

MLK Day Night Thread For #ALLLIVESMATTER

Don't you love when white men solve racism on their own? It's a beautiful thing. Now, if they could only get around to paying that child support... So now that football season is officially over (NANANANANANNA I CAN'T HEAR YOU NANANANANA), we're really shifting into other things. I am uncomfortable with

Divisional Weekend Eve! Live Thread

Ah, the night before the NFL's second round. The night before NFL's Elite Eight is eventually dwindled to its Final Four. Hopes, dreams, and delusion reign, and for many, those will be crushed like an all-you-can eat gravy buffet in Indiana. Tonight, though, we shall have to entertain ourselves. There is

Go West, Young Chip

Wellllllll.... this should be interesting... Charles E. "Chip" Kelly has accepted the position of head coach of the Santa Clara San Francisco 49ers. I mean, when your team president and noted thin-skinned dickbag Jed York couldn't get along with noted successful sociopath and discount khaki enthusiast Jim Harbaugh, it's a brilliant idea to

Six Years? Six Damn Years.

I found [site redacted] back in 2007. I don't exactly recall the first time I found [site redacted], though I do recall the almost instantaneous connection I felt.  Though I didn't comment for well over a year, I lurked, and just laughed and laughed and laughed. I had heard about [site

Christmas Eve Afternoon Waste of Our Time

I mean, what do YOU really want to do? Spend time with your family? Pffff... We've got two JV bowl games today. For starters, we've got the Bahamas Bowl, between the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders, and the Western Michigan Broncos. The only bowl game to be (currently) played in another

2015 Pittsburgh Stillers Bye Week Injury Report

STILLERS BYE WEEK RECAP   WCS: 6-4 and in the Wild Card position. Not too bad considering the Stillers look more like a triage unit during an outbreak of EbolaAIDS. /DeAngelo Williams' ankle explodes The Stillers have started four kickers since the preseason, three quarterbacks, lost All-Pro center and Aaron Hernandez Fan Club president

TURDSDAY NIGHT FOOT FETISH

Well, here it is. Our favorite greatest coach ever gets his shot as the new(ish) head man of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills visit Met Life Stadium at 4-4 (2-1) against a surprisingly competent Jets team, who is 5-3 (3-1). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with living in a world where

I WOULD LIKE A SELFIE

“I Would Like A Selfie” For context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7xWw-_VIy0&ab_channel=JASONSCARYSTORYS Outside of a small town in Central Texas was a supposed haunted house. This house was surrounded by a relatively thick woods, and had been abandoned for untold years. Local children had learned legends of how every night, a severed head would fall down its decrepit chimney. A