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Category: Assholes
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FA Cup Final Open Thread
Big Boy Fox has you covered, pre-game at Noon EST, kickoff 12:30. Dunno whether Gus Johnson and his miscast-for-lesser-footy enthusiasm will be announcing again…
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CrymBeet?: At My Most Beautiful
And so on. This week’s CrimeBeat! is brought to you by the letters F and U, and the number tequila. It’s a Satan’s Asshole…
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CrimeBeat!: Second Thoughts Edition
And then came the hangover. I’m still excited to see what the New Bills can do. And I’m still excited to see Todd Bowles…
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The Dog Days of Off-Season
I’m not a Monday guy. I’m a work-hard-play-hard SOB who wakes up at the beginning of every week exhausted and in no mood for anyone’s…
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CrimeBeat!: Now With Extra Preservatives!
Gentlemen and ladies- I would like to formally retract my “this year’s draft is boring and too drawn out” statements. Not the “drawn out”…
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Let Fury Have the Hour
Note: Blaxabbath challenged me to write this post. And it brought out the worst in me, including my language. I want to dig you…
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Your “Throwing In The Towel” Wednesday Open Thread
(FYI: his name was Max; he was a rescued dog; he died of cancer at 8; he was the bestest.) The Browns paraded their…
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CrimeBeat!: The One With The Bourble
Greetings, Starfighter. You have been drafted by the National Football League to defend the Shield against Xur and the Ko-dan Armada. God, I loved…
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Diary of a Panic Attack Pt. 1
Sup, kiddos. I used to suffer from the occasional panic attack episodes (meaning 1-4 over the span of 2-3 days) every year, year and…
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CrimeBeat!: Drafticipation Edition
OYEZ, OYEZ, OYEZ! The Honorable, the Right Reverend Electric Mayhem. All persons having business before this poorly-written, barely coherent pseudo-tabloid-news-show internet column are admonished…