Your “We Are All Jack Doyle” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - October 4, 2018October 4, 2018

340

The Adventures of Jack Doyle, Private Detective, 1951. Written and directed by Orson Welles /Doyle's office Voice of Jack Doyle: It was a Thursday just like all the other ones. I was washing my balls when there was a knock at the door. Doyle: "Come in, Jones and hand me that towel, would ya." Dame:

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 4, 2018 Season

King Hippo - October 1, 2018September 30, 2018

Holy Bananacakes, Batman! That was (mostly) fun, eh? I say mostly because I swept my early afternoon #HAILGAMBLOR, with dominating $50 ATS wins by the P*ts (boo) and the Bearistocrats! (yay-ish), along with a thrilling $60 ML win by the Pylons that be Striped. But I also learned what it felt like to score

Your “Something Ugly This Way Comes” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 30, 2018September 30, 2018

377

He had a couple of angry scars that I couldn't take my eyes away from. I barely knew him but we had this deal going for about a week now and the money was good. I'd play the out-of-towner that made a few bucks off this ugly-looking guy that was

Your “Thursday, How I Missed You So!” NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 27, 2018

492

[face is buried deep within his computer's monitor] Goff vs Minny? Hmm. Or maybe Wilson against the Cards? What to do? What to do? Oh, hello there! I didn't hear you click onto the site. You're a sneaky one aren't you? I was just going over my fantasy options and the window

Your “And Then There Were Just Three” Late NFL Games Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 23, 2018September 23, 2018

462

After the ten game 'splosion of earlier today we have but three 'options' (depending on where you are living) this afternoon. I'm not a fan of this illusion of choice. (h/t, George Carlin) TO THE GAMES! Chargers/Rammers: The Battle of Los Angeles (or The Great Los Angeles Air Raid) was started by

JV NFL – Week 4 Doldrums

King Hippo - September 22, 2018September 22, 2018

319

Every September, there is a weekly slate of games that is just refried ass. Welcome to said Saturday. Georgia at Missouri (Noon, ESPN) Both of these teams are undefeated, but only one is any good, and maybe not even one (thus the slight opportunity for a trap game). Notre Dame at Wake Forest

Your “We Need To Talk About Tevin” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 20, 2018

586

Ehh, I've talked about him enough. Besides, there are other things to vibrate the vocal cords about. Like, why the heckfire are you gonna watch this oh-so-entertaining shit show? Let's talk about your childhood-did you fall out of a tree as a youngster? Did you hear your parents make grunting

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week Two, 2018

King Hippo - September 17, 2018September 16, 2018

It's 17 September, 2018. Have you seen your placekicker's psyche lately? /also HAIL SHANK'LOR!!, Goddess Bless Two weeks in, two Draws on the board, as we got a 29-29 scorigami in fat-ass cheese land. Mason Crosby missed once (nice icing timeout, Mister Winkles!!), and rookie Daniel Carlson missed a few hundred times (including dead

Your “More Games? The Sacrifice Worked!” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 9, 2018September 9, 2018

554

He looked quite unimposing as he stepped off the bus. I was sitting on a bench nearby and he asked me, "where am I?" I said, "somewhere you probably don't want to be'. "Story of my life. You got a smoke for an old man?" I gave him the last

Your “More Cheddar Than You Can Swing a Stick At!” Full Tilt NFL Action Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 9, 2018

788

And we're not tilting at windmills, friends-this be the real thing and all. I trust you have a very many intoxicants and mood-enhancers at arm's length, that you've finished tying the children up in the basement, (or crawlspace, either one is fine) handed the wife a few 20's and said,

JV-Only Week Two Boogaloo

King Hippo - September 8, 2018September 7, 2018

223

Sadly, our first shite International Break is upon us, so one can sleep in until noon (unless one has work to catch up on all weekend like I do, over footy but fucking still, UGH). A full Saturday before NFL Week 1 would have been superb, but alas. To the

Your Friday Night Open Thread / Weekend Homework Assignment

ballsofsteelandfury - September 7, 2018September 7, 2018

272

So, your friendly neighborhood Balls was enjoying his Labour Day weekend of not doing jack shit when he decided to not only start talking in the third person, but he also discovered some horrifying news. Sit yourselves down for this one: Apparently, the Miss Bumbum pageant in Brazil will end after this