2015 NFL Season Review and Power Rankings

New School Zero - September 10, 2015August 31, 2015

Oh, you poor bastards. Today we careen over the precipice and into an existence devoid of mercy and gentleness, a series of darkening days and nights without dawn. The barrel of the 2015 National Football League season now rests against the back of your head, the danger of it having

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Round 23

ballsofsteelandfury - September 6, 2015September 6, 2015

The regular season is over. The finals are here. We got one of the two scenarios I detailed last week, but how we got there was not as expected, which is what I love about the AFL. Who will host the trophy this year? Read on! Welcome To Balls of Steel's

BOLTMAN’S 2015 CHARGERS GUARANTEE

Old School Zero - September 3, 2015August 22, 2015

(Pictured above: a child's conception of Boltman) [Ed. Note--for best results, open the links in a new tab as you read and close them after about 10 - 20 seconds; this will provide the full experience of having songs emanate from various foam parts of Boltman's costume] FINALLY, BOLTMAN can see the END

A Requiem for an Ape

NotKontent

Cuntler - August 31, 2015August 31, 2015

129

h/t Etsy On the one month anniversary of the death of KSK, I leave this here as a tribute to our deposed former simian overlord. Wherever he is, I am happy he doesn't have to deal with this shit anymore: 10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week: a. I’m not

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Round 22

ballsofsteelandfury - August 30, 2015August 30, 2015

For Geelong fans, that means thanks to an embarrasing effort against Collingwood on Friday Night Footy (Friday morning for us in the US). For that story and more on who the final eight are and what the possible finals matchups will be, READ ON! Welcome to Balls of Steel's AFL Beat! To borrow

Meanwhile, in Oakland…

NotKontent

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - August 28, 2015October 6, 2015

Editor's Note: the following conversation was inspired by (and some dialogue was lifted directly from) a discussion that took place at silverandblackpride.com about Jonathan Martin's admission of suicidal thoughts. EXT. OAKLAND COLISEUM PARKING LOT - MIDDAY XAVIER: ...we all wear masks from time to time to fit perceptual reality. It sounds like he never

Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston’s 2015 Centers Preview

NotKontent

Old School Zero - August 26, 2015August 26, 2015

Dateline: August 26th, 2015 Hello once again, dear readers, and welcome to that most exciting time of the summer: the end of the offseason! We are but tens of days away from kicking the 2015 season off, and much like my Bouncy Blonde Bombshell after one of my patented rub-a-dub-and-dab in

NSA Telephone Transcript #68U127IP93

Old School Zero - August 19, 2015August 19, 2015

[brief ringing sound, then a phone picking up] OSZ: [brief sound of a phone being fumbled then dropped; faintly] Ah, what the fuck… Drunk Uncle Roy: ZERO! ARE YA THERE MY BOY? OSZ: [sound of a cat meowing loudly] Gimme that… hullo? DUR: ZERRROOOOO! WE’RE UN! DEE! FEET! ED! OSZ: Oh no. Is that you

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Special Finals Preview

ballsofsteelandfury - August 14, 2015August 12, 2015

I am posting this deep into the night on Thursday so that you, devoted AFL viewers and readers, can read it prior to the thrilling matchup between Sydney and Collingwood! Who am I kidding? This will basically function as the Open Thread on Friday morning. Hey, at least you'll learn something

Mad MaKSK: A Furious DFOde

Old School Zero - August 12, 2015October 31, 2015

[Photoshops and writing help from Mike Wallace And Gromit] (A hot summer sun is rising over the wasteland, and while the misery of life after the end remains, something is in the air--today is different, and feeling this shift, a brainless beast emerges from its cave) THE BEN: HAAARF! THE BEN HAVE