Let’s Pick The Next New Currency Face

SonOfSpam - April 20, 2016April 20, 2016

Big news today: The Treasury announced that Andrew Jackson will be removed from the $20 bill and be replaced by Harriet Tubman. The reasons behind the change basically boil down to 1) We should have women on money (since they're the ones spending it amirite?), and 2) Andrew Jackson was

A Friendly Conversation

blaxabbath - April 11, 2016April 11, 2016

Operator: Greater Raleigh Telephone Operator Extension, how may I direct your call?….I see, yes sir, one moment please….(Phone Clicks)…Alright, you are connected to the video conference line to the Governor’s Office. Governor Pat McCrory (R-North Carolina): Roger! Good morning and thank you for calling me back! What took you so long though? You out getting gang sacked by some of those

Your “I’ve Had Enough of This Crap!” Thursday Open Thread

Beerguyrob - March 3, 2016

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Dear Lord! There’s another Republican debate tonight? From Detroit?! The Fox Theater?! On Fox News?! /checks cable package; relieved Fox News isn't listed //wishes Robocop was real ///ends up on FBI watch list It might be fun to watch Megyn Kelly grind Trump's balls, if all those other chucklefucks weren't going to trip on

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 29, 2016January 29, 2016

Because I am an idiot, I am planning on watching the Pro Bowl this weekend. Let's see: teams captained by... Devonta Freeman and Geno Atkins? And OBJ... and Aaron Donald? That's star power right there, folks. Can't wait to see John Kuhn and Latavius Murray catch a two-yard slant for a

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 8, 2016January 8, 2016

With Fantasy Football now finished for the season (boooo), the Mailbag is now transitioning to that of a grab bag - your sex lives can still get plenty of attention, but anything goes for questions now! Sports! Violence! Inventions! Whatever ya got, it's all on the table here. So welcome back!

Dear NFL Network,

ballsofsteelandfury - December 23, 2015December 22, 2015

Seeing as you are televising this week's Thursday Night Football game featuring the hapless San Diego Chargers against the resurgent and will be a force to contend with next year Oakland Raiders, I would like to make a simple humble request: CAN YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER DEITY OR

Donald Trump Gets A Friendly Call

makeitsnowondem - December 18, 2015December 18, 2015

A phone rings in a spacious, luxurious apartment in Trump Tower. A large, dead caterpillar perched atop a molding orange answers.                                                                                

Owners To New Players: KEEP OUT

SonOfSpam - November 17, 2015November 17, 2015

Responding to fallout from pictures of injuries inflicted by Greg Hardy on his girlfriend, several NFL team owners are calling for a halt to drafting new players into the league. "Every time a player screws up, it's someone who played in college," said Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones. "We think it's

Star of “The League” Admits Lies About 9/11 Escape, Declared Not Funny Retroactively

trollsoharduniversity - September 16, 2015September 16, 2015

After a New York Times investigation revealed that his story about fleeing the World Trade Center on 9/11 was not true, Steve Rannazzisi was declared not funny by various television personalities and internet commenters. Mr. Rannazzisi, best known for his portrayal of Kevin McArthur on the hit FX Sitcom The League, appeared on Marc