Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Last Offseason Report!

Are you ready for some AFL football?!?!?! The regular season starts this week with an early Thursday morning/late Wednesday night Special Opening Day match between Richmond and Carlton.  Those of you with Fox Soccer Plus can watch this LIVE starting at 4:00 AM Eastern / 1:00 AM Pacific.  Of course, those

An Open Letter to King Hippo, Sill Bimmons, and the other EPL lovers/La Liga haters

Dear Invisible Imaginary Internet Friends, Please don't take this post the wrong way.  I love international football just like you do.  I like Rebecca Lowe as a host and as an expert on all things footy.  I also enjoy watching the English Premier League along with you and I was raptured

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Offseason Report #6

We're getting closer to the beginning of the regular season!  Last week, we previewed the teams that just missed out on finals last year and met the mullet attached to Ivan Maric.  This week, we preview the bottom four of the finals teams, we wrap up the preseason, and we

Balls’ Bedtime Stories – Chapter Twelve

Writer's Note:  To catch up on the full story, follow the links:  Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Chapter Twelve Balls was furiously typing into his phone when the dark brown object flashed across his eyes. When Balls regained consciousness, he was strapped to a table made of

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Offseason Report #5

Last week, we continued with the season previews, met my favorite AFL player, and caught up on the first scores from the preseason.  This week, we have more scores, more previews, and a brand new player to get to know.  Let's dive in. Welcome to Balls of Steel's AFL Beat! A few

Down the Rabbit Hole with BoS

Yeah Right's air guitar post led to this.  So, if you have anyone to blame, it's him. When I was growing up in the 80s, I was incredibly lucky to grow up in Los Angeles, where I was exposed to many forms of music all reaching at that time what many

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Offseason Report #3

  Last week, we caught up on where the AFL stands after the long North American winter / Australian summer.  I'm happy to announce that we've picked up some new AFL team supporters!  The updated list: Team - Commentist Carlton Blues - King Hippo Collingwood Magpies - Moose Geelong Cats - Balls of Steel, theeWeeBabySeamus North Melbourne Kangaroos

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Offseason Report #2

As I mentioned previously, it's been quite an off-season.  Similarly to the NFL, the first major event after the last game was the start of free agency.  That was promptly followed by the First Draft (yeah, I still don't get that but I gather that the second draft is roughly

Balls’ Offseason Plans

Well, here we are again at the end of a NFL season. Things may seem bleak.  Maybe as bleak as my Cure-inspired middle of the night ramblings, but fear not, dear readers for we have plans PLANS I TELL YOU for the offseason. At least I do. Old School Zero is putting

Superbowl #Content from Ben Blank, Uproxx Chief Creative Officer

I'm not here to talk about that thing that's happening over the weekend. I'm here to talk about #content and #branding! That's what we're really  interested in. People love #content, and they love #brands! Are you #upforwhatever? Here at Uproxx, we sure are! Whatever the cost, whatever it takes! Readers don't

El Contador escoje el ganador del Super Bowl

Hello!  I'm Cyrill Figgis, otherwise known as El Contador. So, Ms. Archer told me (more like directed) me to write up a Super Bowl preview.  I didn't really want to because I don't really follow sports, but she sorta forced me to... /shudders Anyhoo, even though the Vegas Police Department thinks I've been

MLK Day Night Thread For #ALLLIVESMATTER

Don't you love when white men solve racism on their own? It's a beautiful thing. Now, if they could only get around to paying that child support... So now that football season is officially over (NANANANANANNA I CAN'T HEAR YOU NANANANANA), we're really shifting into other things. I am uncomfortable with